AND THEN THE PHONE RANG

September 24, 2023

             Link: boy G

            Link: MR. M

       Sunday 5:12PM

The sex was scorching hot.  I was on top of boy G digging deep into his guts.  I had discovered some key spots to hit that would drive him out of his mind and I was pushing the living fuck out of them. 

"Oh Yes, yes, yes, yes!" he exclaimed as I slammed into him.

"This is your fucking hole."

"It's your hole. You can do whatever you want to it," he continued.

I declared, "This is my fucking hole.  Look at my little hole."

We were getting our rut in deep. 

And then the phone rang.

I stopped dead in my tracks.  Usually I would have turned the phone off or just let it ring but just about four days prior, my father had taken ill so I had to have the phone near me. 

My heart kind of stopped.  I looked at the phone number.  It was area code 206. 

Seattle.  

I knew exactly who it was.  I'll call him MR. M

"Is this Mr. M?"

"Oh my gosh!"

"Mr. M, I totally apologize but can I call you a little later on? Are you doing okay?"

"Oh no!" I replied.

"Oh wow!"

"Can I call you tomorrow is that okay?"

"Okay then I will call you later tonight. What time is good for you?"

"Okay I will give you a call around 8:00pm."

"Okay, take care. Goodbye."

"You sound sad." boy Gabriel said. 

I explained to him why.

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⬇️

My friend Mr. M  a few years ago got cancer.  He lost a lot of weight but over the last few years he got a lot healthier and even put some pounds back on him.

It was heartbreaking to hear that not only was the cancer back but he had numerous aliments added to to the issue.  Not to mention that he just sounded unlike his usual self.  He had always been a very positive and cheery person.  He still had that amazing attitude but his voice was definitely not as strong as I was used to hearing.

boy G looked at me.  I looked at him.

In less than three minutes, I went from a state of sheer pleasure and fun to totally sad.

I really was ready to stay much longer with boy G but I just couldn't get my spirits up.

I felt really bad for my friend and I also felt bad that I had set hopes up for me to play much longer with this guy that felt like somewhat a disappointment.

G definitely saw the torn decision for me to stay or go.  

"Im so sorry," I said.

"Why are you so sorry?"

"You're a very nice person. Sometimes..." he paused looking for the right words to use.

"It can be a bad thing?" I interrupted.

I knew exactly where he was going.

"Yeah." he said.

"You feel people a lot which drains your energy."

"Yeah, yeah." I agreed.

"It does," I said, continuing the conversation.

"You should keep some energy for yourself."

"I mean it's great to feel people but..."

"Understood."

I told him I was going to take some time to try to call him back.

"Definitely! take all the time you need," he said.

I gathered my stuff together and went to my car to give Mr. M a call back.  Although I told him 8pm, boy G urged me not to wait and assured me that whatever choice I made he would be cool with.

It's  6:22pm. I just had an amazing play session with boy G .

After receiving a phone call from a an old friend with cancer, I decide to excuse myself for a moment. I go to my car parked on the street next to the hotel he is staying at.

6:22pm

It's still bright outside.  But it is that time of day and  time of year where the sun is turning the streets and buildings a golden color as it gets closer to sunset.

It is moments like such that brings both a nostalgic and sad feelings.

The nostalgia derives from days of my youth when I would often be so content just staring and enjoying the way the golden rays would illuminate whatever object or location that caught my attention.  I would stare for minutes on end going into my own little euphoric world until the rays of the sun faded or shifted as the sun set.

This moment caught me inside my car staring up at a few of the apartment buildings across the street.

There is one apartment that has an a bunch of plants by the window.  The sun paints its golden touch to the them while also warming the San Francisco streets with its tones.  It is absolutely beautiful and yet there is a sadness that is felt.

This sadness invokes the thoughts of reality of my dad being sick and now my friend getting sick again.

It just makes me sad knowing that things are never going to be the same.  All I can do is cherish these quick fleeting moments as much as I can because they are going as fast as they come.

This is one good reason I love to write.  Moments can never be gotten back but they can be cherished and felt through reading and writing.  One silver lining is that with each passing moment there are new opportunities to make new ones.

So yes it saddens me.  But I must take advantage of the new moments that are made available.

I did decide to let boy G know that I was going back home but promised to keep in touch, in which we do.