SOUTHEN CALI

It is coming up on the annual wellness meeting for my dad.  This is the meeting that all caregivers have to attend even though I am not the main caregiver.

Needless to say I am not looking forward to it. Not to be the deadbeat son, but I can care less about going to Southern Cali anymore.  

The fact that I have been painted as the deadbeat,  been gaslit into thinking that I'm problematic, called names, yelled at, and disrespected by the narcissist has made me totally check out.  

In no way am I checking out on my dad (although he's no walk in the park either.) I'm done with the bullshit that comes with dealing with this person.  

No one else stands up to this person.  No one else tells this person what they need to hear. Even if they did it wouldn't change their behavior.  

They try it with me.  Sometimes I don't have the energy and just give in.  Sometimes I tell myself this person is not going to get away with this madness on my watch and match their level of crazy.  What I have learned is that does nothing but makes me exhausted.  There is no competing with a this person's crazy.  

Lately I have chosen another alternative.  Speak my truth and give them the space to accept it or not.  If the person chooses to escalate, I cut it off right at the beginning and let them know I will not engage in this fuckery.  

Fortunately I will only be there for one day.  I am flying out the day prior and coming back a few hours after the meeting.  I am not staying any longer than I have to.

I will be there for my dad the best that I can.  I will help this person out to the best of my ability but I don't take orders from them.  I am not an employee and I will not be disrespected.  

I'm not bringing my boxing gloves to this place.  I am just not going to engage any longer. However, disengaging does not mean not saying what needs to be said. 

AURALISM: ANAL BEADS FOR ZERO

 Zero knew what was in store when I told him to recite what the pink hanky is for.

Blindfolded, I put ear plugs in his ears and turned up the music to throw him off. Slowly working the anal beads in and out, I would increase the size causing a symphony of moaning.

HOW IT’S GOING

 So this is my day so far. 

I undoubtedly love the interaction with kinky like-minded men.

BLUEISH GRAY

The dim gray ambient of the sky fills the living room

With just enough light to enjoy for the next thirty minutes

After that

It will be dark enough to close the blinds

And put some lights on

But for now I enjoy what’s left of the daylight

The sky has a bluish gray tint from the last hour’s rainfall

It’s quiet now

Almost serene

This would be the perfect time to strip down to my underwear

Kick the heat up and just relax
Or do whatever a guy laying in his underwear on the couch does

Fuck everything I need to do 

Papers scatter on the living room floor

Dishes pack the kitchen sink

Clutter near and far

And still quiet

Almost serene

It is the gray tinted blue

That melts all the anger

All the rage

Gone 

Nothing replaces the faint light

That caresses the room

With its bluish gray evening tint

FACT #38

 LINK: FACT

Today on my AMA online I was asked my 5 top kinks and 5 top places to have sex.

(Again I apologize for accidentally ignoring the AMA)

So This was a pretty hard question to answer because I love so much.

Here it goes in no particular order.

Favorite 5 kinks

1. Spanking- I love turning butt cheeks red.  That is my fore play and sometimes after play as well.

2. Oral training - Nothing like stuffing a nice warm mouth with something whether it's my fingers, my dick or any other objects.  Your mouth will be filled.

3. underwear - I have a fetish for underwear.  There are the classic tighty whites and jockstraps.  I always tell a sub to strip to his underwear when he gets into the room.  Also I am taking your underwear and not giving them back.  I am the ultimate underwear bully.

4. Lately I have been turned on by lingerie.  I am not really turned on to men who dress like women fully as I am attracted to a blend of Masculine and Feminine energy.  A good example: a man that has his tradition masculine look but may have lace panties, garter lingerie, or fishnet stockings.  That turns me into a beast every time.

5. I have to do six because there is really more to me than 5.  Number five is Water Sports.  I love it on him in him and sometimes on me as well.

6. Flogging -I love getting guys in that type of intense headspace.

5 places to have sex.

1. A hotel room - I like hotels because the are for the most part clean and comfortable.

2. Motel room - Yes there is a difference. A motel is cheaper, it is not as comfortable and clean as a hotel but sometimes you just want that seedy atmosphere .

3. A sling - Slings are perfect for sex. On a bed you have to maneuver and twist your body for a good position.  With a sling, it is a much easier access.  It allows for less time trying to get the right angle allowing to fuck longer and harder and deeper.

4. A Back yard - It is open enough for outdoor sex but still private enough.

5. Actually I believe that is it for my favorite places.

   
   

   And there are plenty of honorable mentions.

WHAT DID I JUST DO

 Summer of 1997

 LINKS: THE LEVEE

               THE INITIATION

It was a hot summer day and I wanted to go for a walk by the levee.  My motive for going changed dramatically since my encounter with the guy by the levee.  My whole perspective of what I'm reaching for has been divided in two.  The battle between my faith and sexuality continued to rage.  

What once was a casual walk became an obsession. 

I constantly searched for that lust hit that reeled me in the first time.  I may have lied to others.  I may have lied to myself.  But my heart knew why I was out there.

I was looking for that hit. 

Would I find him again? 

It had to have been about 1pm in the afternoon.  I roamed the levee area for at least two hours going on my "walk." 

I decided to return back home after not finding what I was looking for.

Later during sunset

I decided to take another walk out by the river.  I had resolved that I didn't need to "look" for anything and I would simply enjoy the outdoors.

 I started with my normal route, walking down the concrete road walking past the first and second parking lots, near where the restrooms were.  I walked past that area through the gate that leads to the bike trail. 

 

On my walk, I noticed a White guy venturing off the bike trail down a path leading into some bushes.  It is not uncommon for folks to take trails leading through the shrubbery for shade.  I didn't think much of it until I saw another guy walking in behind him.  He gave me the same look that the Masturbator gave me weeks days prior.  

Curiosity got the best of me.  I soon followed his

Click here to continue

STROKE 23

From the blog entry Stroke 23  

on THE MASTURBATION CHRONICLES

April 14, 2026

           

 8:33am

I receive a phone call from my dentist asking to reschedule my appointment.  Boss isn't working today.  He is meeting up with two of his co-workers for lunch.  He finally has an opportunity to get out of the house and do something with his friends.  

Usually I would go with him since I am the one to transport him everywhere.  I decided since I don't have to go to my appointment I would drop him off so that I could have  a little free time to myself.

12:15pm

We arrived at the restaurant.  I walked him inside and took off.

Finally I would have some free time to myself even if it would be an hour or two.

I get in the shower and lather up.  I dry off and get my iPad out to record the session. I know I am not going to have the time to get into a deep Bate session but I enjoy myself with the time that I do have.  

I turn on the recorder, put on my wife beater and my new gray jockstrap I recently purchased online.

I put on my favorite pair of leather gloves.  Actually the only pair I have left.  I had 10 pair of those gloves at one time.  They have all been worn and torn from constant exposure to lube, cum and just normal wear and tear.  Unfortunately once this pair is done I most likely won't have another pair like them.  Mr. S no longer carry the style and it has been damn near impossible to find another pair online. I did find other colors but black is my color. 

Regardless of my need to preserve these as long as I can, I put them on for this session.  Today I won't be wearing the usual ball cap nor will I be wearing my Muir cap.  Today I will have my pup hood on.

I have added my weight back.  I'm not half as freaked out about it as in the past.  I know how my weight fluctuates.  I will enjoy my sexiness in whatever size I am at.  

I take a few pictures as my dick grows.  I get on the bed, pull my dick out of the side of my jockstrap and begin to stroke using olive oil for my choice of lube.

I know that I'm not going to cum.  I just enjoy dressing up and getting sexy in front of the camera if I cum, I cum. If not I have new pics to share for my blog.  

As a matter of fact I already expect the phone to ring soon anyway.  Just before I get my clothes out to put on, the phone rings.  It's 2:22pm when Boss calls me ready to be picked up.  I let him know I am on my way.  I get dressed put my gear and camera up and get ready to leave.  A little less than two hours of having the apartment to myself is better than nothing.