THE WALK

 LINK: THE INITIATION

Summer 1997


1997. This is before I had anal sex with any man.

Although my first official encounter with a man  was back in 92, when the guy known as MY FIRST showed me, how to suck dick. 
This period was way before my sexual development. 

1993 is the year that I went to church with a friend of mine, became interested in learning more about God, life and myself.  I began Bible studies and became an official member of the church, leading me on a spiritual journey. 

I don't really talk about my spiritual walk or my time in the church on this blog for the simple fact that I hold that journey to be a sacred one. Even though there were some challenging times during this period (1993 - 2001) and I don't practice my faith like when I was in the fellowship, that chapter is still a very sacred part of me.  Therefore, that is a place I rarely go on this blog. 

I bring this rare occasion up, because it ties in to the story at hand. 

It was 1997.

It was a summer day.  I was 26 years old.  The weather was warm but not overbearing; a perfect time of the day to go for a walk. 

It is not uncommon for me to go out, walk and catch some nice warm sun, especially taking that I used to live less than 10 minutes away from the river access. 


Although at the time I didn't have a car, the river access was no more than a 10 minute walk from the house I was living in.

There is a trail that I would walk with friends of mine from the church.  We spent a lot of time on those trails talking, praying, even hashing out our disagreements together. It was a trail that 
I've walked many times with my fellow brothers, as well as many times I've walked alone. 

One afternoon, I was making my way through the trail.  I walked down a path going towards the river. 
As I found myself walking through the shrubs, I saw a person about 20 feet away from me. I paid this person no attention at first because I just saw him as just another person walking through the shrubbery getting to the river access. As I continued, I noticed him staring at me. 
I looked back, smiled and said hi as I went on about my business.

 I noticed as I was walking sounds of footsteps behind me. They were not majorly close, but close enough to hear the bustling of the bushes.  I turned around it was the gentleman.  Although I knew it wasn't uncommon for people to reach for a similar destination by the river, there were the concerns for my safety taking that I was in a place that makes it hard to see if something were to happen.  

Without making my behavior too conspicuous, I picked up the pace and turned left.  He turned right into a cul de sac of bushes.

I turned around  slightly relieved that he wasn't following me. I saw him more and more into the distance as I migrated away from him.

He was still staring at me.

I found that quite strange behavior.  My emotions transitioned from being nervous about my safety to an actual curiosity as it appeared as though he was

signaling me to come over.  The gesture wasn't obvious but just enough.  My curiosity was sparked.

I started walking back to where he was.  As the vision became clearer, I saw him standing there with his penis out.  It was very hard.  He was holding it. He wasn't stroking it, much. (very slowly) but he was holding it while looking at me.  I was totally shocked.  I was thinking to myself, "What the heck is going on?"

 I have never seen anything like this in public in my life.  I was stuck between confused, somewhat disturbed, and even turned on.  I found myself more disturbed and confused than anything.  I walked away, to turn back towards the main road. I actually decided to walk back.  He was still there with this penis out, looking at me.  I stayed there for about probably 60 seconds to a minute and a half just watching him as he looked at me. I then turned around and I left that place as fast as I could. 


There was so much that was going through my head: 

"Why in the hell would he do something like that? Why was he looking at me?"

 
And then there was the disgust that someone would actually do something like that in public. There was also the disgust that I actually liked what I saw.  I was captivated, and it did disgust me.  It disgusted me because I was on my walk.  Not just any casual kind of walk by the river, but I was on another walk. 


I was on a journey.  It had been very difficult,  but also a rewarding journey.   A spiritual walk. 

Yeah, I was a church boy.   But I was more than just a church boy.  I was truly on a mission to be the best me I could be.  Sometimes what my flesh wanted went against what the doctrine taught me, and it did cause battles.  It did leave scars. Even 30 years later.  That is perfectly alright because I'm much more mature now. But I still have such a long way to go. 

I understand the importance of knowing what my own personal walk looks like. 

At the time, it was a challenge trying to understand the difference between my spiritual walk and my sexual journey and understanding that often the two would clash.  Even today I cannot say the two are reconciled.  But I do know that even though I find great pleasure in writing about my sexcapades, I love photographing artistic male nudes, I love BDSM and Kink, It does not feed my soul.  If I'm being really honest it is nothing more than a pleasurable distraction. The real peace is listening to that still small voice that is most powerful than anything I can think of.  

For me it is a matter of learning balance.

I believe the days of being the good church boy are over.  But I also know I'm not trying to be a heathen neither.

Time reveals.

WHEN THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED

This remains and shall 

Between our lips and ears

For no one else to comprehend 

There are times when the hunter 

Becomes the hunted

Then it is his turn to wait

But doesn't the hunter always wait?

Is he not used to lying

On the prowl?

Often the hunter 

Instructs the hunted to wait 

For instruction 

For the waiting game 

Is inextricable to all

Once captured 

The hunter protest not

He waits 

And waits some more

For he knows 

The impetuous 

Is devoured

By his own consequence

The hunter delights 

In the captivity

For it is in his wisdom 

True power exchange

Is the joy knowing

You are worthy 

Of being hunted

SWALLOW

 

                                               S W A L L O W   F U C K I N G  P I G !

LEATHER GLOVES

 I found the question “Why are you wearing leather gloves,” a strange question to ask a guy in a leather bar.  It was like I had made the ultimate fashion faux pas.

“I’ve always liked leather gloves.  It is a fetish of mine,” I replied.  

It wouldn’t be the first or the last time I would get asked that question.

Over time my response would be, “Let me show you.”

That reply would always put a curious smile on their faces.

Leather gloves need no explanation.

But for the sake of entertainment, here are a few examples of what I use my leather gloves for.

Number one reason: They look good. Leather gloves bring out the definite virile appearance when matched with the right attire.  Leather gloves put the Leather in Leatherman.

The tactile sensation drives a bottom crazy.  Caressing, rubbing, stroking and touch altogether is a whole different level with leather gloves on.

Bending a boi on his knee or laying him ass up while turning his butt cheeks red gives more mileage for both him and I to work with.  When spanking, I know what the sting feels like with a bare hand and gloved.  Being gloved adds that barrier that gives me the ability to spank a little longer than when I am bare.  Remember the bottom is not the only one feeling that sting.

Oral training.

There is nothing like opening a sub’s mouth and reaching down his throat.  The spit, the struggle, the desire to please.  The ability to make a man gag and push his boundaries right off the shelf is remarkable.

Getting him on his back, opening his legs and violating his hole with my fingers, all honorable mentions.

Also if the sub won’t shut up just shove them in his mouth.  You now have a perfect gag.

There are more uses, but for now I will leave it at that.  For now, I am going to get in the shower play with it a while and go back to bed.

NO UNDIES

 February 7, 2026

I just discovered that one of the maintenance  men, a thirty-something Latino with dark brown skin, short wavy black hair, and a sexy Spanish accent, wears no underwear.

Currently running around the apartment trying to see what else I can get him over to fix.

WAY TOO EARLY

 February 19, 2026

             Thursday

                4:41am 

 I woke up and went directly to an online account.  I Totally got distracted by hard aggressive porn that caught my attention at first glance but saw no real chemistry in the actors. Well of course that leads to scrolling through another video and another until I was deep into three hours of meaningless porn mixed in with doomscrolling, chaos, violence and gossip.  

I just was wanted to retrieve a message from my inbox.  I now understand why I have stayed away from the noise for so long. I also see how I easily get sucked back into it.  

It is too early to take in this psychological disturbance. 

HERE’S TO WHAT 2026 HAS TO BRING

February 16, 2026,

Monday 6:27 PM

 The last time I had sex with another man was on January 17, 2026, one day shy of a month. The guy now known as Buddy Holly is the guy I bred.  Since then, there hasn’t been anyone else to my recalling.  I have been pretty horny since then.  I have gone out to my usual cruising spots, looking to blow or get blown. The pickings, however, have been pretty slim. There aren’t many guys out cruising during the winter months.

Cruising here is pretty much a dying activity.  A part of me is rather indifferent towards it. Another part of me reminisces in my younger days when I was a young walking hormone ready to pounce on any breathing male on my radar as prey.  Back then it was primal, a little dangerous, scary yet fun. 

Often times those spots would be packed with bodies doing goodness knows what to each other.  Even though the sex was totally anonymous there was an energy that was felt. 

Now days there is a sparse interval of guys that just stand around doing nothing.  The ones that suck dick don’t usually know how to suck.  The ones that are looking for head spends so much of their time disengaged on their phones that sucking is pointless. 

In other words, I can take it or leave it.  That is until that throbbing happens between my legs that sends me out like a cock fiend looking for his next dick fix.

Although I have had occasional cravings to go on the hunt, I've been more engaged in staying at home and masturbating.  I’m finding more private spots and moments while Boss is busy with his work.  I’m still pretty much available if he needs me.  However, I’m also learning the best times and places to have some alone time.  

I recently posted on Fetlife an audio clip of me playing with my sex toy.  I mentioned that the hole feels almost as good as the real thing. 

I received a reply, “There is no substitute for the real thing.” 

For me, whenever I am stroking, fucking a flesh jack, or using any other device, I’m not trying to substitute it as anything.  I’m simply finding different ways to enjoy self pleasure.  I don’t need another man to make me feel good.  As a matter of fact there are many times when I would choose solo over hooking up with someone.  For now, my focus is on journaling and sharing my experiences.

About a year ago I had about 108 drafts on my hard drive from my old blog that I planned to post.  I’m actually caught up with all of them.  There are a few exceptions as some of those previous posts are no longer relevant.  From here out, all of my posts are live.  No more posts from the old blog.  However because I most likely won’t be as active sexually, I’m sure I will be sharing more stories from my past.

Here’s to what 2026 will bring as far as my blog entries.