CLAP

LINK: THE EXODUS

           THE SCARS           

I'm currently out of commission.  Had to get a shot to clear something up.

Needless to say I am unequivocally retiring Prep and going back to condoms.  It is going to change a great deal how long I last as condoms tend to make me lose my erection over a period of time.

If it was just me I'd probably consider still using Prep, but the hardest thing was telling Boss.

He wasn't upset, but seeing his face when he said, "I thought you were more careful," kind of tore into me.

Boss is not the jealous type.  He understands that I enjoy playing with various guys.  He also knows how fastidious I am when it comes to minimizing germs and disease. Although often I can be messy as fuck, clean environments, good hygiene and disease prevention is a big practice for me. And though I should not place so much value on what others think, Boss is the one person whose opinion I value the most.  

As for now I am going to pause on any activity.  It's not as if I was majorly active any way.  However, it only takes one person.  

Sooo. 🤔 How's the weather? 😃 

NO PLACE LIKE HOME

May 3, 2026

Sunday

There really is no place like home.  My dad and the narcissist get along like oil and water.  It's understandable no one can truly get along with this person.  During his annual meeting with his nurse practitioner, we were all interviewed.  It was literally like a comedy skit watching the whole thing.

There were a few missed opportunities in which the narcissist slipped in their criticisms.  Usually I come down hard on myself for not saying anything.  I really didn't have much regret for holding back. It happens so fast that you just don't know what hit you.  This person is so smooth with their digs.  Especially if they are in their nice phase. They act sweet, kind as if they actually might have feelings and then just when you let your guard down, they sneak in with little digs to test the waters.  Depending on the response they begin to escalate.

I have two words:  

Grey rock.

It is usually easier said than done but in this case. It wasn't difficult at all.  I already decided the boxing gloves were staying home.

 Opposed to the usual routine of turning into the wicked witch of the North, South, East and West, this person was eerily nice. 

I've done enough research to understand that this is nothing more than a tactic to attempt to keep me stuck in their venomous web.

There were a few moments where they started going in on what they perceive as my character flaws.  I just gave them my, well nothing.  I gave nothing.  I listened without listening while displaying my blank Stedford Wives stare.

Needless to say I am glad to be back home.  

Today Boss and I are attending an outdoor Celtic festival.  I do enjoy Celtic music to a degree.  This is more his speed than mine.  Culturally we are totally different.  I am more R&B, some Hip Hop, Old School, Jazz, Classical. My musical palate is actually quite eclectic.  However, I was brought up on R&B Soul and Motown.  

Boss is a folkie.  Folk, Bluegrass and artists like Odetta, Pete Seeger and Joan Baez scrambles his playlist.  We have introduce each other to various sounds that broadened our listening pleasure. He's turned me into a Judy Collins lover as I've introduced him to Prince. And of course we both love Van Morrison.

Today is going to be a pretty long day for the both of us but I do look forward to getting out for a bit.  Sundays are my favorite days for relaxing and making the most of the Chill Day.  Although I usually do a good amount of writing and or reading on Sunday, today is going to be our day to enjoy the outdoors and good music.

SOUTHEN CALI

It is coming up on the annual wellness meeting for my dad.  This is the meeting that all caregivers have to attend even though I am not the main caregiver.

Needless to say I am not looking forward to it. Not to be the deadbeat son, but I can care less about going to Southern Cali anymore.  

The fact that I have been painted as the deadbeat,  been gaslit into thinking that I'm problematic, called names, yelled at, and disrespected by the narcissist has made me totally check out.  

In no way am I checking out on my dad (although he's no walk in the park either.) I'm done with the bullshit that comes with dealing with this person.  

No one else stands up to this person.  No one else tells this person what they need to hear. Even if they did it wouldn't change their behavior.  

They try it with me.  Sometimes I don't have the energy and just give in.  Sometimes I tell myself this person is not going to get away with this madness on my watch and match their level of crazy.  What I have learned is that does nothing but makes me exhausted.  There is no competing with a this person's crazy.  

Lately I have chosen another alternative.  Speak my truth and give them the space to accept it or not.  If the person chooses to escalate, I cut it off right at the beginning and let them know I will not engage in this fuckery.  

Fortunately I will only be there for one day.  I am flying out the day prior and coming back a few hours after the meeting.  I am not staying any longer than I have to.

I will be there for my dad the best that I can.  I will help this person out to the best of my ability but I don't take orders from them.  I am not an employee and I will not be disrespected.  

I'm not bringing my boxing gloves to this place.  I am just not going to engage any longer. However, disengaging does not mean not saying what needs to be said. 

AURALISM: ANAL BEADS FOR ZERO

 Zero knew what was in store when I told him to recite what the pink hanky is for.

Blindfolded, I put ear plugs in his ears and turned up the music to throw him off. Slowly working the anal beads in and out, I would increase the size causing a symphony of moaning.

HOW IT’S GOING

 So this is my day so far. 

I undoubtedly love the interaction with kinky like-minded men.

BLUEISH GRAY

The dim gray ambient of the sky fills the living room

With just enough light to enjoy for the next thirty minutes

After that

It will be dark enough to close the blinds

And put some lights on

But for now I enjoy what’s left of the daylight

The sky has a bluish gray tint from the last hour’s rainfall

It’s quiet now

Almost serene

This would be the perfect time to strip down to my underwear

Kick the heat up and just relax
Or do whatever a guy laying in his underwear on the couch does

Fuck everything I need to do 

Papers scatter on the living room floor

Dishes pack the kitchen sink

Clutter near and far

And still quiet

Almost serene

It is the gray tinted blue

That melts all the anger

All the rage

Gone 

Nothing replaces the faint light

That caresses the room

With its bluish gray evening tint

FACT #38

 LINK: FACT

Today on my AMA online I was asked my 5 top kinks and 5 top places to have sex.

(Again I apologize for accidentally ignoring the AMA)

So This was a pretty hard question to answer because I love so much.

Here it goes in no particular order.

Favorite 5 kinks

1. Spanking- I love turning butt cheeks red.  That is my fore play and sometimes after play as well.

2. Oral training - Nothing like stuffing a nice warm mouth with something whether it's my fingers, my dick or any other objects.  Your mouth will be filled.

3. underwear - I have a fetish for underwear.  There are the classic tighty whites and jockstraps.  I always tell a sub to strip to his underwear when he gets into the room.  Also I am taking your underwear and not giving them back.  I am the ultimate underwear bully.

4. Lately I have been turned on by lingerie.  I am not really turned on to men who dress like women fully as I am attracted to a blend of Masculine and Feminine energy.  A good example: a man that has his tradition masculine look but may have lace panties, garter lingerie, or fishnet stockings.  That turns me into a beast every time.

5. I have to do six because there is really more to me than 5.  Number five is Water Sports.  I love it on him in him and sometimes on me as well.

6. Flogging -I love getting guys in that type of intense headspace.

5 places to have sex.

1. A hotel room - I like hotels because the are for the most part clean and comfortable.

2. Motel room - Yes there is a difference. A motel is cheaper, it is not as comfortable and clean as a hotel but sometimes you just want that seedy atmosphere .

3. A sling - Slings are perfect for sex. On a bed you have to maneuver and twist your body for a good position.  With a sling, it is a much easier access.  It allows for less time trying to get the right angle allowing to fuck longer and harder and deeper.

4. A Back yard - It is open enough for outdoor sex but still private enough.

5. Actually I believe that is it for my favorite places.

   
   

   And there are plenty of honorable mentions.