A BDSM journal of real life stories and thoughts of a Daddy Dominant.
February 7, 2026
I just discovered that one of the maintenance men, a thirty-something Latino with dark brown skin, short wavy black hair, and a sexy Spanish accent, wears no underwear.
Currently running around the apartment trying to see what else I can get him over to fix.
I woke up and went directly to an online account. I Totally got distracted by hard aggressive porn that caught my attention at first glance but saw no real chemistry in the actors. Well of course that leads to scrolling through another video and another until I was deep into three hours of meaningless porn mixed in with doomscrolling, chaos, violence and gossip.
I just was wanted to retrieve a message from my inbox. I now understand why I have stayed away from the noise for so long. I also see how I easily get sucked back into it.
It is too early to take in this psychological disturbance.
February 16, 2026,
Monday 6:27 PM
The last time I had sex with another man was on January 17, 2026, one day shy of a month. The guy now known as Buddy Holly is the guy I bred. Since then, there hasn’t been anyone else to my recalling. I have been pretty horny since then. I have gone out to my usual cruising spots, looking to blow or get blown. The pickings, however, have been pretty slim. There aren’t many guys out cruising during the winter months.
Cruising here is pretty much a dying activity. A part of me is rather indifferent towards it. Another part of me reminisces in my younger days when I was a young walking hormone ready to pounce on any breathing male on my radar as prey. Back then it was primal, a little dangerous, scary yet fun.
Often times those spots would be packed with bodies doing goodness knows what to each other. Even though the sex was totally anonymous there was an energy that was felt.
Now days there is a sparse interval of guys that just stand around doing nothing. The ones that suck dick don’t usually know how to suck. The ones that are looking for head spends so much of their time disengaged on their phones that sucking is pointless.
In other words, I can take it or leave it. That is until that throbbing happens between my legs that sends me out like a cock fiend looking for his next dick fix.
Although I have had occasional cravings to go on the hunt, I've been more engaged in staying at home and masturbating. I’m finding more private spots and moments while Boss is busy with his work. I’m still pretty much available if he needs me. However, I’m also learning the best times and places to have some alone time.
I recently posted on Fetlife an audio clip of me playing with my sex toy. I mentioned that the hole feels almost as good as the real thing.
I received a reply, “There is no substitute for the real thing.”
For me, whenever I am stroking, fucking a flesh jack, or using any other device, I’m not trying to substitute it as anything. I’m simply finding different ways to enjoy self pleasure. I don’t need another man to make me feel good. As a matter of fact there are many times when I would choose solo over hooking up with someone. For now, my focus is on journaling and sharing my experiences.
About a year ago I had about 108 drafts on my hard drive from my old blog that I planned to post. I’m actually caught up with all of them. There are a few exceptions as some of those previous posts are no longer relevant. From here out, all of my posts are live. No more posts from the old blog. However because I most likely won’t be as active sexually, I’m sure I will be sharing more stories from my past.
Here’s to what 2026 will bring as far as my blog entries.
My attention span has been crappy lately. It has been weeks since I've read up on my fellow blogger's posts. It has even been somewhat challenging staying focused enough to stay still to write my own posts.
I have been posting a lot of content on my Fetlife profile however. It is much easier to share my content when others engage with me. Yeah it is easy to get hooked on the endorphin rush of receiving a shit load of likes and views. After all that is how they get us right?
Beyond that, I just enjoy the conversations I have with different guys. I actually use it more for a social media outlet than actually hooking up, not that I would turn down the opportunity when they come up.
Although I find Fet way more engaging than all the other social media sites, I realize that nothing helps my healing process more than blogging. Even as I type this now the words are just coming to me.
As I continue to express myself through writing, my thinking is becoming clearer and clearer.
There are some sites I just need to do away with once and for all.
For instance.
What used to be know as the 24th letter of the alphabet is now cognitive dissonance. The switch from angry slutty gay porn to political doom scrolling is not healthy in the least. Unfortunately The Sky app is not much better. All the minions just followed the half sane over there.
So for now I am sticking with Fet and here.
But I am really working on getting back to writing more and catching up on my reading.
55
It’s official.
I’m getting my senior discounts. Starting today. 🤭
As I hop from one restaurant to the next taking advantage of my 55+ senior discount, I’m actually grateful that I can make light of my aging process. I know too many people that dread the turning of a new age. Not to say I didn't have my little crisis when my hair started turning gray in my forties. I boo-hooed! lol true story.
But I am grateful for the ability to enjoy life as it is. May others find the joy and pleasure where they are in their chapters.
By the way. Today I'm going to be exclusively in my own little perverted element.
(not much different from any other day.)😏
P.S. I owe Logan an apology. I really haven't been ignoring you. I have been having the weirdest attention span as of late. Hell. It took a great deal of energy just to write this up. I will get to your stories soon. I really have to reprogram my brain and step the fuck away from toxic media.
I won’t hold my breath