GETTING OUT OF THE FUNK

 June 10, 2026

     Wednesday

           4:07PM

I have taken off my pants.  I have my black ball cap on, black t-shirt, my Hanes tighty whities, white ankle socks and a comfortable pair of slippers on.

I'm not horny much, nor do I feel very sexy.  To be honest, I haven't felt sexy in over two months, before  having to get treated for an STI.  I still have one more visit as a follow up.  

I have met a few interesting guys on Scruff.  

Because I am focusing more on broadening my social circle, I am matching profiles that state "friends with benefits."  Focusing more on the friend aspect.  

I have so far had three different meet ups.  All parities have agreed to meet up to chat before doing any hooking up.  I wouldn't play anyway until after I know for certain I am clear.

Although the weather is warm enough to strip down to the attire mentioned, it is not the main reason.  

I feel like writing and when I'm writing, I prefer to do it in my underwear.

Writing in minimal clothing or in my PJs does bring an erotic element to the atmosphere. Writing and gearing up even when I don't feel sexy or in the mood often helps to get me out of a funk.

Right now the funk is rather deep.  There's this feeling of being an untouchable until I know my status, there is also the weight gain.  

I have gained every pound back and then some.  Getting back into the groove has been challenging. And then there is the lack of privacy that has also put a huge damper on my me time.

Today I made myself sit down and write; not because I feel I need to post something, but to get back to expressing myself.  It is the one thing that makes me feel sexy, even if I am writing about something totally non-sex related.

It is the one therapy I have when I'm dealing with life and it's ups and downs.

But for now I just want to write. and see where it takes me.

FACT 39

LINK: FACT

OVER THE HILL

Gray hairs are monopolizing my crotch area.  I thought the hair on my head was the end of the world.  Hair on my dick is a whole different level of crazy.

No longer a midlife crisis; rather a realization that even if I pay the ransom, I'm never going to naturally see my black hair alive again.  That is the way it is over that special hill.

Over the hill.

A phrase that can have so many negative

connotations to it. Also a phrase that itself more appropriate if retired, especially since 50, 60, Fuck! even 70+ is still active and very much kicking.

I use the term loosely for myself as I see the term less about an irreversible decline as I see it as a coming over to the other side of many points of view.  I see myself worrying less about what others think about me and my decisions.  I see myself crossing over to the side of "I could give two mammy fucks about what you think."

There is much more to unpack here. But 12:19am and I am tired. Thinking I can wait until the later hours to write is as unproductive as not writing at all.

GUY ON SCRUFF

LINK: POTENTIAL SUB

Me: Hey. I had a great time chatting with you. I hope you are having a great day. 

Guy on Scruff: Hey yeah was fun. Just watching basketball now.

Me: Cool. Basketball…So you are a dude lol

I'm such a girl when it come to sports🤦🏽‍♂️

Guy On Scruff: Lolol just cause it's mindless television.  Is also very good stoned television. Any minute you look into you get all the information you need to understand what's happening. Much easier than following a plot lol

Me: My husband has to explain everything to me when it comes to basketball and football.

Guy On Scruff: God, I'm getting fucked by a girl... lol

Guy On scruff: I kid.

Me: 🤣🤣🤣 That is Mr. Girl to you boy! lol

Guy On Scruff: Haha yes Sir

AURALISM :EXPECTATIONS

Chilling with LB before fucking him silly. I was so concerned about my being able to keep an erection due to a having a dry spell but it worked out fine. It worked out fine as well as being worked in and out and in over again.

 👉🏽✊🏽