FACT # 10 I have often gone up to the hottest guy (according to my opinion) in the bar and started conversation.
Not because I’m majorly confident, but because for years I would feel like those types of guys were way out of my league.
What I’ve learned is that even the hottest guy in the club may be battling with the confidence to mix and mingle.
I've discovered this change in behavior may spark a cool conversation, a “No thank you, not interested,” or the best piece of ass you’ve ever had.
I feel it's important to add. I often have fears of being rejected. The one thing that helps me go through with it is understanding that they are just as human as I am with the same insecurities. I also realize that I am a man that goes for his target. The subject can except, reject or be a total dick. It is all part of discovering if he is worth my time or not.
I know this...and yet I am horrible at striking up a conversation in a bar--a mix of shyness and insecurities. Truthfully. If that handsome guy is at a sex party, no problem, but I can't do it easily in a social situation.
ReplyDeleteYes indeed. It is much harder I believe in social situations. For me in a sex party you know without a doubt what a guy's looking for. Not so at a club or bar. Then there is finding a good conversation starter not to mention you are going to have to compete with people yelling because they are trying to talk over blaring music. It can get tricky. And it's not for everyone. I have learned how to break through those things just by doing it. But as of now networking with guys through various online platforms as well great events like Gear Up and Blackouts have made it easier.
DeleteIt's funny I first read this post and told myself I can't comment. Why? Because I have such a strong opinion about this I could write a book on the subject. No way could I express myself in a brief paragraph. As FP said, in a sex party absolutely happy to go over and fuck that gorgeous guy's brains out or vice versa but in a social situation, that's an entirely different playing field. No one can deny the attraction of that hot guy in the club that everyone wants, and so true he may be the greatest guy in the world. But the guy I'm attracted to is the very ordinary one. Meeting him, I may find some physical attribute or personality trait that just sends me over the moon....or not. But meeting that guy might open a door to endless unimaginable possibilities. It's a matter of being open minded and sociable. Looks, physicality even age shouldn't be what determines who that great guy is going to be. There....I managed to contain myself while still making my point.
ReplyDeleteWell put! I too am usually attracted to the guys you describe as "ordinary". I have also talked with and been attracted to what many would not in the least find physically attractive. For me it comes down to how we click when we do converse. I have often talked to some smoking hot guys that quickly became repulsive as soon as they open their mouths to speak.
DeleteThe concept of speaking to "the hottest guy" for me, derived from my insecurities and having the balls to break down those insecurities. It also derives from feeling like the "Not so hot guy" sometimes even "below ordinary" in a crowd of pretty White Kens that never would give me the time of day. This culture in the gay "community" has often left me feeling unworthy to talk to these guys. As I got more confident in me, I realized I have every right to be in these spaces and out of my own rebellion; made the statement, "Yes I am here and yes I do have the audacity to speak to you because you are just as human as I am."
In doing so I have met some pretty interesting guys. I have also met some jerks. But I didn't hold back.
There is one exception to the rule however. You touched on this a bit. If the hot guy is swarming with horny desperate guys flocking around him, I just let him do his thing. That's usually a sign of an inflated ego and many of those guys don't even realize they're making it even bigger. Not always the case but, I've seen enough instances like that.
Mark, you are spot on in your remarks. I too have had that experience of being attracted to some god of a man then we actually meet and within a moment that attraction has completely vanished. In the grand scheme of things actual attractiveness is one of the least important attributes. But of course, it's an undeniable part of human nature and what we all tend to focus on when meeting someone for the first time.
DeleteI am no way by any stretch of the imagination one of those gorgeous Kens. But I sincerely want you to know that should we ever be in the same place I would be absolutely thrilled to meet and talk to you.
You Kind Sir, have made my day ! Thank you. And I as well, would be delighted to meet you and get to know Gary M.
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