Link: THE EXODUS
September 20, 2023
Out of the Four Milestones from my journey, The Exodus remains the least written about.
A lot of that has to do with the fact that there is no specific action.
I never packed my bags up and said,"I'm out of here."
It is much easier to talk about THE SCARS, as I can illustrate specifics that lead to my Exodus.
I can point to many of my first times in THE INITIATION.
Many of the experiences including some of the scars; as well as learning what make me and others tick continues to shape THE MAKING OF DADDY SCRUFF.
But the Exodus itself is tricky because even though I've pretty much gotten out of the leather scene / community, the play remained a part of my sexual make up.
I've been writing a bit more lately.
I'll probably be posting a bit more frequently as well. I just don't know yet.
As of today 9/20/23, I still have 108 drafts in my computer files that I had once posted on the previous blog I lost. Some of those writings aren't really relevant to me now some are; so I am slowly going through them and picking the gems I will post as I go. But life goes on so I will get to some as it hits me.
I'm sure that as I process all that is going on as of late, I will be posting a lot of what is going on in my head that really has nothing to do with my sexuality but just life in general.
To keep it short, my father has taken ill. He is currently in the hospital.
To divert from my usual self stimming behavior of pacing a hole in the rug, I am focusing my nervous energy into other soothing behaviors that are a little more productive.
Believe it or not, cleaning helps me relax a great deal. And of course writing. Pacing, though it is a behavior that just happens,(I often don't even realize I'm doing it until my partner brings it to my attention) doesn't really help me relax because in the process I am still obsessing over the issue that is on my mind. The other practices have been better at helping me not to focus so much on what's going on even if I am sometimes writing about what's on my mind.
You may be wondering what this has to do with The Exodus.
Well for starters, It is during this time I am stepping further and further away from social media. X, Insta, and all the other sites I'm just having less time for them. Yeah I poke my head in every now and then but I'm just not feeling them. This is my break from them for awhile.
Even though this blog can be considered social media, it has a totally different vibe than the other platforms that basically feeds their viewers with a lot of noise. The last thing I need right now is noise.
There really isn't much more for me to touch on for now but I'm sure this is not the last of what I have to share.
Sorry to hear your dad is ill and in the hospital. I hope things turn out for the best for him. Life has a way of getting in the way. Take your time, Mark. Do what you need to do for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Big Whack. I appreciate that very much.
DeleteOne thing the years has taught me is that life is all about change. The never ending evolution of who we are and the challenges we face large and small. The person I am today would be totally unrecognizable to me just a few short years ago. What seems so overwhelming and insurmountable today is forgotten tomorrow. That's not much comfort when you're going through issues. But a reality, nonetheless. A natural evolution. Also, as we age, we come to the realization that we need to prioritize what's really important and fulfilling in our lives. For you the leather scene doesn't mean what it once did. Social media can also so easily become so overwhelming that we need to step back. That's healthy in keeping things in the proper perspective. I look forward to your future posts whether sexual in nature or not. You've found a way of expressing yourself and you should explore that avenue of self discovery. Here's wishing your Dad a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! As I was going through some of my posts I realized I never responded to your comment. Thank you for the kind words. And My Dad is doing better (even though he has some health issues that keeps us concerned.) I appreciate you. very much.
DeleteSo cool, Mark! I’ll definitely be checking this blog out!!!
ReplyDeleteMr. Luke I miss your ass! Not just your ass! LOL I miss the great chats we had. Thank you so much and I wish you the best during the holidays and beyond.
Delete