October 10, 2023
As I was scrolling through my X account I came across an image of a nude White man standing on one leg with his other leg highly propped up against something exposing his butthole. The hairs on his ass and around his inner thighs beautifully light brown; even ginger maybe. The way his hairs grew directing towards his hole made this butt shot way more interesting than the average ass pic. Needless to say it sparked my attention.
The image had a very interesting caption regarding referring to a man's asshole as a pussy.
"What is this obsession with calling a man's asshole a pussy? How's the emasculation of a bottom acceptable? My asshole has never been a pussy, but isn't a top's cock biologically an enlarged clit? So let's stop emasculating bottoms, so tops can feel more masculine or straight guys can pretend to not be gay."
The poster went on, "Maybe the enlarged clit is why tops cry like little girls when someone tries to fuck them? Hmmm."
Well, first of all I don't scream like a little girl when I'm getting my intestines ripped by King Dong.
I scream like a full grown banshee. But going on...
Oh boy! That struck a nerve; not in a bad way but in a very good way. I have long touched on this topic and felt the exact same way in many instances. However as a man myself, who loves to turn a nice ass into a pussy; When is it okay and when is it problematic? (I am tackling this topic specifically because during my editing for SCOOBY'S LINGERIE I used the term "pussy" at least four times.)
I decided after some consideration to reply.
"I had the same feeling back in the day. Buy now somehow I absolutely love the term. (within reason.)
For me, it's not about emasculating the bottom.
I use various terms depending on the mood. 'Pussy' seems to be more at the level where he's open to the point that he as allowed me to go as deep, hard and fast as I can give it.
Mentally it is an intensity and passion where you both can let loose and be as nasty and say whatever dirty things come to mind.
Sometimes that term can be emasculating if the person is into feminization. But often (for me,) it is about a level of horniness and raunch that brings that term out.
However, knowing that 'pussy' is not a term that is accepted by all gay men, I usually share a list of my likes and dislikes; using that term as an interest. And I find out if they are into it or not.
It is definitely something that should be discussed prior to just blurting it out."
He responded,"I appreciate the honesty but may I ask why it is in passion and openness that you rename a gay man's asshole a name of the female anatomy? Would you be okay with the bottom calling your cock a clit, since anatomically, the clit would at least be correct shared vocabulary or is it only okay to give the female anatomy to the bottom?"
Click here to continue
"During sex I don't see that term as the specific definition. It is something that is metaphorical. And yes I've had a guy turn my hole into a pussy once, actually twice. (I have found very few guys that have what it takes to get me into that headspace.) It left such an impression however, that I now find it as a sexy expression.
Now if I was fucking a guy and he was going on about my 'clit', it would probably sound out of pocket at first. (The first time this guy called my hole a manpussy, I was like, what the fuck! I wasn't offended but I did think is was a bit strange. But as we dug deeper into sex, it actually started to sound pretty hot.)
So I'm sure 'clit' would surprise me. But I love hearing different expressions that come out of a person's mouth when it gets good."
I continued.
"Now there are things that turn me totally off like when guys use the term BBC, or reference it as my Black dick or other types of racial terms that may sound like a compliment to them but is degrading to me.
Understand I respect your point of view of the term because too many 'Alphas' like to make their bottom feel less like a man to build up their own toxic egos and I do see that as a big problem.
It should never be tops vs. bottoms or visa versa. But there it is all the time on social media. What it comes down to is respect. If someone doesn't like something during play, don't do it. But for those who enjoy it, have at it. Negotiation and communication is key before during and after play."
After that reply he offered for me to DM him since he didn't like the pop up responses I replied with due to a character limit on the X platform. I actually decided not to follow through because
1. I wasn't trying to convince him that "pussy" is okay to use. I was merely sharing my point of the matter.
2. Although he seemed like a fairly nice guy, it very easy to get caught up in empty controversies and online spats that I rather stay away from.
3. I felt I would rather use our exchange as a topic for my blog since it does fall in line with sex, kink and male on male interaction.
So the my take on The Great Pussy Debate:
If you like "pussy" use it. If you don't?
Well, I guess don't. 🤷🏽♂️
This is always a controversial topic with so many people having very strong opinions. Myself included. But every opinion is valid simply because there is no correct answer. What one person may find a huge turn on, for someone else, it might have the opposite effect. Communication is the key and respecting the other persons preferences is tantamount to having a pleasurable experience. Someone should never be forced into playing a role they are not comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteYes. It is all about communication and respecting one's boundaries during sex. Also "Reading the room" Even in the heat of the moment, I am usually in touch with what the person is okay with. Especially if I use a hot button word and feel and see his response. I know to push the hell out of that button or to tone it down.
DeleteAs far as the viewers; They too have boundaries that they may or may not be comfortable with. They have every right to share their views and opinions on my material. I welcome it whether it is what they like or not. But I will not tolerate someone attempting to change my behavior because it doesn't coincide with their views. At the end of the day it really comes down to making sure my partner is having a good time and us being free to express that sexuality.
I'm in complete agreement. You stated it well.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. Yeah, every one is very different.
DeleteI find more bottoms use it when labeling themselves in profiles. I never use the term, unless the bottom uses it himself while I'm plowing him. Then I'll go with it.
ReplyDeleteI have used it very rarely in writing up my adventures. Again, only if that is how the bottom referred to himself during our play.
I don't hate the term. I do think it is very specific for a certain type of hole.
Oh most definitely ! And yes I have heard bottoms use that terms during sex and even on their profile names which I assume the green light. And still it is a matter of observation and communication. There have been times in the heat of the moment it was on the tip of my tongue and I quickly remembered I was with a totally different bottom that wasn't keen on that word. I haven't slipped yet. lol But lately I have been playing with guys in which I have built a circle of people I'm familiar with. And yes it is very specific to a certain type of hole. Most definitely!
DeleteI'm from an era when emasculation was highly embraced, but even back then the term went against what I considered a man's body part to be. This has been annoying me for decades; thanks for putting the topic into words.
ReplyDeleteYou're quite welcome. Thank you for your input. Yeah for me it is all about context and the chemistry in which both parties are okay with it.
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