WHAT DID I JUST DO

 Summer of 1997

 LINKS: THE LEVEE

               THE INITIATION

It was a hot summer day and I wanted to go for a walk by the levee.  My motive for going changed dramatically since my encounter with the guy by the levee.  My whole perspective of what I'm reaching for has been divided in two.  The battle between my faith and sexuality continued to rage.  

What once was a casual walk became an obsession. 

I constantly searched for that lust hit that reeled me in the first time.  I may have lied to others.  I may have lied to myself.  But my heart knew why I was out there.

I was looking for that hit. 

Would I find him again? 

It had to have been about 1pm in the afternoon.  I roamed the levee area for at least two hours going on my "walk." 

I decided to return back home after not finding what I was looking for.

Later during sunset

I decided to take another walk out by the river.  I had resolved that I didn't need to "look" for anything and I would simply enjoy the outdoors.

 I started with my normal route, walking down the concrete road walking past the first and second parking lots, near where the restrooms were.  I walked past that area through the gate that leads to the bike trail. 

 

On my walk, I noticed a White guy venturing off the bike trail down a path leading into some bushes.  It is not uncommon for folks to take trails leading through the shrubbery for shade.  I didn't think much of it until I saw another guy walking in behind him.  He gave me the same look that the Masturbator gave me weeks days prior.  

Curiosity got the best of me.  I soon followed his

Click here to continue

STROKE 23

From the blog entry Stroke 23  

on THE MASTURBATION CHRONICLES

April 14, 2026

           

 8:33am

I receive a phone call from my dentist asking to reschedule my appointment.  Boss isn't working today.  He is meeting up with two of his co-workers for lunch.  He finally has an opportunity to get out of the house and do something with his friends.  

Usually I would go with him since I am the one to transport him everywhere.  I decided since I don't have to go to my appointment I would drop him off so that I could have  a little free time to myself.

12:15pm

We arrived at the restaurant.  I walked him inside and took off.

Finally I would have some free time to myself even if it would be an hour or two.

I get in the shower and lather up.  I dry off and get my iPad out to record the session. I know I am not going to have the time to get into a deep Bate session but I enjoy myself with the time that I do have.  

I turn on the recorder, put on my wife beater and my new gray jockstrap I recently purchased online.

I put on my favorite pair of leather gloves.  Actually the only pair I have left.  I had 10 pair of those gloves at one time.  They have all been worn and torn from constant exposure to lube, cum and just normal wear and tear.  Unfortunately once this pair is done I most likely won't have another pair like them.  Mr. S no longer carry the style and it has been damn near impossible to find another pair online. I did find other colors but black is my color. 

Regardless of my need to preserve these as long as I can, I put them on for this session.  Today I won't be wearing the usual ball cap nor will I be wearing my Muir cap.  Today I will have my pup hood on.

I have added my weight back.  I'm not half as freaked out about it as in the past.  I know how my weight fluctuates.  I will enjoy my sexiness in whatever size I am at.  

I take a few pictures as my dick grows.  I get on the bed, pull my dick out of the side of my jockstrap and begin to stroke using olive oil for my choice of lube.

I know that I'm not going to cum.  I just enjoy dressing up and getting sexy in front of the camera if I cum, I cum. If not I have new pics to share for my blog.  

As a matter of fact I already expect the phone to ring soon anyway.  Just before I get my clothes out to put on, the phone rings.  It's 2:22pm when Boss calls me ready to be picked up.  I let him know I am on my way.  I get dressed put my gear and camera up and get ready to leave.  A little less than two hours of having the apartment to myself is better than nothing.

SHOPPING

Some day this year or last. Hell! Pick a day.

 As I walk into the local grocery store, I walk in more as a voyeur than a shopper.  The volume of men, mainly White guys that wear gym shorts with no underwear is astounding.

The angle of the dangle, the hypnotic swing of the pendulum; It really is an incredible thing to witness.

There is no particular "type" of guy that catches my attention.

The Black produce guy with the shoulder length locs is quite appealing.  Hundreds of twisted locs obscures his face as he breaks down boxes.  Nice ass.  Round and very callipygian.  Thick in all the right places.  

"What does that face look like?  I know what that ass looks like!"

He takes a break to snap his neck back, sweeping the hair out of his face.  It is like it is happening in slow motion. 

Dark skin.  Round thick lips.  Did I mention thick ass? 

There's a good amount of Asian guys shopping today. 

Anyone else notice how much ass a lot of them have behind them?   

I'm like, "Damn!"

Something I notice about each demographic: (Yes I'm generalizing.)

The conversations that go through my mind while "shopping" are highly inappropriate and politically cancel worthy to many sensitive snow flakes.  These are my private thoughts when shopping.  Save your hate mail for when I really get real.

White guys don't wear drawls: (Where I'm from they are not drawers.) 

Fight me on this.

Asian dudes got ass. Plenty.

Black Dudes are almost like unicorns.  I don't know where we are hiding, I didn't get the memo but the one's I do get the opportunity to observe Ain't missing any meals.  Thick in so many places.  I am not mad at that either. 

Yes this is objectification at its finest. 

Gay, straight. Whether by themselves with their girl friend or spouse It doesn't matter.  Not when you are shopping for eye candy.

I did go to the store to buy something.

Irrelevant.

MY BIRTHDAY SPANKING

Some time in 2004 

At the leather bar in Sac

          

One of my best times at my old hang out was the night my ass turned red.

At the bar was this bartender Keith.  He was a good looking White gentleman.  He was definitely a Daddy type with salt and pepper hair, nice strong shoulders and biceps.  He had somewhat of an intimidating presence with his size, and his stare was intense especially with people he was not familiar with.  But he became one of my favorite bartenders, even if it was at a price; a price I didn't mind paying.

It was my 33rd birthday.  The bar was well attended with hot guys which was even better.

As usual most of the guys had their own social circles in the bar.  I never was a big bar person.  My main motivation for going to the bars was to cruise.  Outside of that, I didn't go out much.

Not having my own social circle, I figured I wouldn't stay long.  I pulled up a chair and made my request.  He starts off jokingly harassing me about how young I looked.  

"What are you doing in here!"  

"Getting a drink," I replied.

"Hold up!  Let me see your I.D!"

"What!  Are you shitting me?" Keith yelled.

"No Sir! I'm not! And by the way where's my free drink?" 

"I'll give you your free drink! Get your ass over here!"

He walks from behind to the edge of the bar where the last chair is.  He motions me to him and pats his knee as to communicate for me to sit.  I walk over to him with a big grin because this guy is hot.  I'm slightly embarrassment from all the attention.

Keith yells out for everyone's attention.

"Today is...."

"Mark," I interrupt.

"Mark's Birthday.  He thinks he deserves a free drink!"

There's Laughter in the crowd.  

"You're gonna get your Birthday drink, but you're still gonna have to pay for it." Keith says mischievously.  

"Today Mark is 33!"

The crowd cheers.  He turns to me and begins to pull my pants down. 

"What the hell are you doing!" 

He bends me over his knee and he begins to smack my bare ass right there in the bar for all to see. 

"1!" the crowd shouts.

 Smack

"2" again jeering and laughing.  

At this time I'm smiling along while wincing with each strike.

This was my first time ever being spanked in public and I must say being over this guy's knee with his strong arms holding and spanking me got me excited.  By the 33rd strike, my butt was burning.  Even as dark as my skin is there was a red hand print on each cheek.  

He pulled me up with my butt still exposed, and whispered in my ear, "You liked that didn't you?" 

"It was alright." I shrugged with a slight grin. 

"I know you did. I felt you getting hard when your dick was on my knee," He said with a smile.

Now I'm even more embarrassed.

Keeping my ass toward the crowd, he slightly tugged on my pants to see my cock. 

"You're still hard." he said then he gave a quick yank on my dick and pulled my pants up.

I kid you not.  If that man would have bent me over the bar and fucked the hell out of me in front of everybody I would have let him do it.

"Happy Birthday!" he said with a smile and offered me my drink of choice. 

For about a month I would go in every Thursday night when he was working for a public spanking. We never had sex because of his committed relationship but he made me hot enough with his spank sessions. 

Shortly after, he moved out of town with his partner.  I often think back to those times.  It has been quite some time since I've been spanked, even longer in front of everyone in a bar.  But with the right Daddy and the right chemistry I would bend over and take the discipline in a heartbeat.

IT NEVER FAILS

January 17, 2026

I'm eating a maple-glazed doughnut bar filled with custard.

It's so sweet. 

As I bite into the doughnut the custard oozes into my mouth.  I am instantly hard.  It never fails.  Every time I eat any cream filled doughnut, my dick stiffness like a brick and I feel like a total slut.

I discovered the maple glazed with custard is much more powerful than the whipped cream filled. hmmmm🤔

Needless to say I don't dare eat these things in public! 

Maple glazed sugar high and woody.

AURALISM: WHAT I DO WHEN I’M BY MYSELF

LINK: AURALISM

What I do by myself.

I love having alone time. It makes me so horny.

No my voice isn't really that deep. lol

I decided to alter the tone.
I do that sometimes for a different persona altogether.

Although I love the sexual attention, I am still very low key. Not everyone needs to know or deserves to know everything.

Maybe one day all the pieces to the puzzle will be made available.

But For Now…

AUALISM: PRACTICE

LINKS: AURALISM

             ORAL TRAINING 

Practicing my deethroat skills on my dildo.

I didn't go into slime mode on this one Like fellow blogger RUB MY BUTCH.  But it was quite fun taking it as far down as I possibly could. 

It is very easy for me to get self-conscious especially with the bigger dicks to feel like I’m just not pleasing them right when I can't go down all the way. 

Ironically, I’ve had just the opposite response.

Guys some how love my head. 

I do take my time. I do savor the taste, the smell, the texture and I get very involved in enjoying every inch never forgetting there are testicles, a taint, and the whole package of a man to please.

But for training purposes in this audio clip, my goal is to exercise that throat. And yes. I thoroughly enjoy the dildo as well.

TODAY'S PICK: RESHEATHED

LINK: TODAYS PICK

After reading RESHEATHED by Rub My Butch, I was inspired to search for an audio of my own current throat training.  I should have it up in a few days.

Class is in session as Rub My Butch demonstrates his deepthroating skills on a hollow sheath.

 

Maybe it's for purposes of not getting too messy or maybe it is something he enjoys doing.  He tends to suck up his saliva usually just before it falls and or gets sloppy.

The last video is the golden video.  The moment I enjoyed.  That moment when for a second he lets go a bit, explaining the strings as it runs down his beard during his discussion.  He goes down his throat as if to tell himself, "I'm not through with you."

The gag.  

That wonderful spit.

Often there is this curious and even a bit of entitling urge to see a Dom or top get a taste of his own medicine; even if he is self administering it. 

Being a man that almost always or at least have experienced for myself what I put my bottoms through helps me to understand deeper the command or demand I have for that sub at the time.

"...Cocksucker trick for the day.  You keep gagging two or three times, your mouth is full of J-Lube.  You are the perfect throat fuck." - Rub My Butch 

The last few seconds of video three is golden.

"Guys won't tell you. They'll just fuck you in the throat and make it happen.  Some know what they're doing, some don't..."  - Rub My Butch

And then there's guys like me that know how to get there, take it there but just never knew exactly how to put it to words. The author puts it into action and words most eloquently.

THERE’S A HOLE THERE

April 1, 2026

   Wednesday 

My dentist told me I had a hole the size of Rhode Island. 

That was a little personal Doc but um, okay. 🥴

Oh he was talking about my tooth.

Good news it salvageable.

Now I just have to work on my other hole. 🧐

AURALISM: LOGAN

              LINKS: AURALISM

                                   LOGAN

Hotel room in Brentwood CA.

                      August 30, 2024

The sound of flesh clapping, Logan moaning, and me breathing heavy from a rigorous sexual work out.

The rhythmic plowing produces melodic queef like sounds that always delivers me into overdrive.

JUST THE TIP

 

FRIDAY

March 28, 2026

               Friday 

             1:50 pm

Usually masturbation don't leave me sexually frustrated.  Many see it as a last resort to not getting any.   Not I.  I totally embrace self pleasure.  Not as something that I just have to settle for because another person isn't available, but as the main course that will bring me the ultimate satisfaction.  

Lately however, my attempts at self pleasure has been that of sheer frustration and annoyance.

Since my husband has been working from home, I haven't had the privacy to do the extra that I enjoy. 

Even when closing the door to the office room he works in provides very little privacy whenever he comes out for breaks.

My Bate times have been reduced to quick rub outs. 

My idea of turning the garage we rent into my bating headquarters  was thwarted when I almost got caught beating my meat by maintenance in the apartment complex. 

One of the staff noticed that the garage was open about one fifth of the way.  The maintenance person (which is a lady) used her opener to test if the door was working, raising the door up.  I quickly ran to stop it from going any further.

"It's me. I'm in here."

"Oh! She said. I'm so sorry," She laughed nervously.  

I don't know what she thought I was doing in there but the last few times I saw her and one of the male workers, they were giggle their asses off.  

"Yeah they know." 

Taking about major embarrassment. 

Kind of funny.  Kind of.  If it were someone else.

Hook ups, cruising, and kink sessions have been pretty much non existent as well since Boss's health change last year.

It is usually not a big deal if I'm not getting together with dudes.  But

not having an outlet to jerk it has been the breaking point in my patience.

Approximately 3:00pm

I'm in the telegram chat groups sending out bat signals.

"Anyone in Sac, I'm looking to fuck." 

I search Sniffies. 

Nothing. 

I put a message on the Sniffies board.

Nothing.

The last resort is the place with the fuck van.

Since I have been getting so-so results out of there lately, I figure, "Why not!"

I go in, pay for the king size room with the shower, strip, shower up, wrap the towel around me and get ready to head out on the floor.

Before I hit the floor where the van is, I migrate down the hallway to check out who's in the public showers.  There's no one for now. I turn around and walk down the hall.  As I get to the end where my room is, I look across the way and see a silhouette of a beefy guy.  The room is dark. I can only see the his silhouette.

I walk in slowly.  I can see him a little better. There is still a mystique to who this gentleman is.  

"Do you suck dick," he asks.

"Yes indeed!"

"Come in and turn the light up."

I turn the light up and adjust the lighting so that it is dim but light enough to see what he looks like.  

He is a good looking Thirty-Something maybe Samoan guy with broad shoulders, nice guns, a round but not overtly large belly.  He is thick in all the right places.  He has a pretty thick one between his legs.  He is sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs open.

There's a pillow on the ground. 

"Get that pillow and get on your knees," he commanded in a calm yet  authoritative manner.

Click here to continue.

NOT AS BAD AS EXPECTED

 Friday 27, 2026

The conversation with the narcissist went better than I expected.  Yeah I got the "You need to be more responsible with your father's affairs" talk.  

I didn't refute.  I simply acknowledged my mistake, explained why it happened and gave my plan on how to rectify the situation.  The situation was handled.  The person was happy, I can go on about my day, all is right for now.

I acknowledged my mistake. Made a plan to fix it and a whole nasty conversation was avoided.  

I know when I am wrong and don't have a problem admitting it.  I'm also learning that I don't need nor should I go any further than that.  The less I try to justify, defend and share my point of view the less ammunition it gives this person.  I don't try any more. I don't need to.  When I am wrong I will acknowledge it, fix it and move on.  

KEEP IT MOVING

 I am sure I'm going to hear a mouthful from the narcissist tomorrow.  I made a rather big mistake with my dad’s funds.  It is not so bad that it is beyond repair but it will entail me making some financial arrangements to get back on track.  

There is a part of me that feels like crawling under a rock.  Friday is going to be stressful enough as I am going to have to communicate my mistake to this person.  They actually wanted answers today but I just wasn't available nor emotionally ready to deal with this person.

Although I felt a little anxious today, I reminded myself that no matter what is said, we all make mistakes.

 I've made them.  The narcissist has made them.  Even beyond that, whatever this person has to say to me really doesn't matter anymore because I have officially checked out from this person.

The only reason we communicate is because of my dad.  So I'm going to get this conversation over and go on about my day.

As of now I am going to get in the shower, go to bed and wake up refreshed ready to take on whatever comes my way.

IT'S THE APPROACH

January 17, 2026

I recently received a message on Fet going into a BBC fantasy, and I'm not talking about the news. At best BBC makes me cringe when referring to me. I found myself so perturbed by the message. That is when I responded politely stating that BBC fantasy is not my thing (no pun intended, but I did just hear that) as well as some other things in our conversation and thanked him for understanding.

More times than not I would get a snarky remark or a block altogether.  What this gentleman did was something that shock me instantly.

He said, "Okay thank you."

What I learned from this is that people will often do or say something on these platforms that throws others off. But instead of flying off the handle or going on a moral preaching point, sometimes all that is needed is to calmly let a person know where you stand without feeling like you must "give them a piece of your mind."

In the same respect when addressing others in DMs we may first want to introduce ourselves and read the room before we decide to get explicit with our conversations.

I don't know if this gentleman still follows me, but if he does I would like to think we have a deeper respect for one another because of communication.

CREPES AND POTATOES

LINK: LOGAN ARROW

February 20, 2026

"Wake up sleepy head."

I wasn't quite sure if Logan was awake but I thought I would give it a shot.  Unsure we he would be headed for the train I messaged him as soon as I was done helping Boss with his morning routine.  The goal was to meet him at the hotel room but I was a little later than I expected.  He was already walking on G street toward the train station.

I saw him walking and picked him up.  He was due for I believe 12:53pm but 12:45pm was boarding.  

That gave us plenty enough time for brunch.  There's a restaurant that specializes in crepes.  I have been trying for months to take him there.  I never could get there on time taking that their hours closed by 3pm.  Finally this would be the opportunity for him to try it out. 

Plate cleaned.

I think he liked it. This is one of the rare moments when I introduce him to something new.  He usually has the one with all the dining smarts.  I'm glad he enjoyed it.  Hopefully I can visit him in Arcata some time.  The chances may be very slim with my responsibilities but I've learned to never say never.

LATE

LINK: LOGAN ARROW

 February 19, 2026

Usually when I'm late for anything, there is a good reason for it.  If I am not taking care of business for my dad, I'm helping Boss out with something.  

Today I messaged Logan letting him know I would be available around 1:30pm.  Yes I did my usual routine with Boss to make sure he was set for the day. Yes I took care of some business regarding my dad.  The time I took cutting my hair and shaving should have been last priority.

I like both looks.  I like the hairy bearded mountain man look.  After a while it gets old.  It is time to enjoy the semi clean shaven to clean shaven version of me. 

I don't like keeping the same look all the time.  It drives me crazy.  It is more than the "look." It is where my mind is. The journey I am on at the time.  I cannot tell you how many Black men and women with beautiful locs I have complimented and admired in just the last week. There's even a White guy at the grocery store with them. Not bad but definitely not as strategically sectioned and twisted.

Yes. I am pretty sure I will start that journey again. But for now I have to get all this shit off me!

It wouldn't have been so bad if I would have cut my hair earlier in the morning.  But as usual I have my routine with Boss.  It is already 1:15pm.  

"I am getting ready to cut my hair and shave. I will meet you around 2pm," I message him.

I finish up and know for certain I have to take a shower. Yesterday's funk is burning my nostril hairs.  This heat gives no leeway for going a day without washing these pits.  Let's not even get on the man bush and funky butt.  Yes it is close to 2pm already. 

Logan was with a friend that I really wanted to meet.  They waited.  I didn't get there until 2:30pm.

They had been in Old Sac since about 1:15pm.  I missed out on meeting his friend.  

Although Logan didn't make much of a deal out of it, I couldn't help but think he was disappointed.  I was disappointed in myself.  

He did seem a little less energetic as usual.  I couldn't help but to think that is my tardiness.  "I'm sure he is tired of me always pushing things back.  Usually my reasoning is valid.  But today it's because I wanted to cut my hair?

We did check out a new bowling alley/arcade close by.  They didn't have the much there that caught either of our attention.  But I do order a burger and fries that's to die for.  Delicious in every kind of way imaginable. 

We did chat for a while. I could have totally misread his body language.  Maybe he was genuinely tired from the night prior and just needed a nap.  Maybe he was a bit disappointed that I missed out on the opportunity to meet his friend.  And then it could have been a little of both.  I do know this 90 degree heat drains the hell out of me.  This is just March.  We haven't reached the triple digits yet.

I am not sure what tomorrow will bring. I do know he will be leaving.  Hopefully I can catch him just long enough to do something with him tomorrow.

TODAY’S PICK: HOUSEWARMING OR DEFILING THE BED

 LINKS: TODAY’S PICK

               LOGAN ARROW    

March 16, 2026

I finished up reading Logan’s latest post HOUSEWARMING OR DEFILING THE BED. It's not the first or the third Time I've read the entry. I just happened to enjoy that post very much. It's kind of like how I enjoy reruns.  I know what’s going to happen next. It doesn’t make it any less entertaining.

I know for certain it is a much lighter version of himself than the one that often carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

I think I like it also because it provides a small glimpse into the dynamic of his home life with his roommates.

Speaking of which, I got a preview video clip of what his room looks like.  Very roomy. It has been described in a few conversations at least how I interpret it as not... Hell, I don't know how to describe it. But seeing it with my own eyes, it feels like a room I would be proud to call home. Some people go for a bunch of furniture and tables, blah blah, blah. I am a man that enjoys minimalist  value.

I am sure we will have plenty to talk about as Mr. Arrow will be in the Sac O Tomatoes tomorrow.  I just know some uptight Sacramentan would be steaming if they heard that term. I said what I said.

As for the title Housewarming or Defiling the Bed.  Why not both?

TODAY’S PICK: THE DIRTY JOCK

 LINK: TODAY’S PICK

It started out as a journal of breaking in a fresh new jockstrap into a well used object of release. It would also showcase me in various styles of underwear as I explored my underwear fetish.

I’m back at it on THE DIRTY JOCK. Check it out throughout the day as I will be posting new material as well as some old favorites.

TODAY’S PICK: A PICTURE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 LINKS: TODAY'S PICK

               

Every so often I pick material to read from my blog.  I usually do this not only out of entertainment but as a proofreading.  There are typos now that I know are in a few entries that I haven't gotten to.  Of course I'd forget about them until the next time I read, but will eventually correct them.

Sometimes I read to see the progress I’ve made.

A PICTURE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS is an example of how much I have grown since then. It is also a mirror of what society looks like from the view of a gay Black man. A view that many whom aren’t Black don't want to see or talk about because it makes them feel uncomfortable. 

As I read through the story, I've made a few changes. Changes that may not be noticeable even if the reader has read it a few times.  All the same, I felt it important to make those changes.

“To think those few poses just added to that avalanche of White supremacy / Black inferiority that plagues social media and everyday life as we know it.”

Revised:

“It was, and is the thought that those few poses just added to that avalanche of White narcissism and the illusion of Black inferiority that plagues social media and everyday life as we know it.”

“And whenever I am asked to portray myself in a light contrary to what I stand for as a proud Black man and I actually do it, I have added to this avalanche of White supremacy.”

Revised:

And whenever I am asked to portray myself in a light contrary to what I stand for as a proud Black man and I actually give into it, I have added to this avalanche of White narcissism and illusion of Black inferiority.

I made the change after watching a clip online declaring that we got it all wrong about White supremacy.

There is no such thing as white supremacy. Instead, White narcissism is much more appropriate. This is in no way an echo chamber or a mirror of what I’ve heard someone else say.

I have questioned why we call it White supremacy for decades. Especially when there is nothing supreme about these people.

I have resolved in calling it like it is opposed to making it sound pretty. 

White narcissisim is an ugly word. It is uncomfortable. But I'm not here to make you feel good.  I’m here to tell the truth.

In the same manner, I've changed Black

inferiority to the illusion of Black inferiority because I am well familiar with the gas lighting and agenda to make us feel like we are inferior. 

We are of Kings and Queens hence our own regal acknowledgment "King" when we greet each other.  

I'm not saying I'm better.  I'm saying, "Recognize."