THE CRAWL

LINK: THE MAKING OF DADDY SCRUFF

 Saturday night, San Francisco 

                                 Year 2004  

About 7:00pm

I drove up to San Francisco.  I left around 5:00pm to get into town around 7:00pm and find a good parking spot.  One would argue that is a pretty good drive to go bar hopping in the city.  Back when I went out for the night life, San Francisco was my designated place.  There was no beating around the bush.  Guys have always been more open to me and it was a place where the leather element was more prominent.  Anyway, I like to have a place besides my home town to leave my mark.

About 8:30pm

I find a place to park.  Parking even this early can be quite the bear in the city.  

I am fully showered and clean for my bar hopping event.  I just need to get into my usual drag for the prowl. 

Tonight I am going more leather than usual.  I have on my blue jeans but I will be putting my leather chaps over them.  I got on my leather motorcycle jacket, leather gloves, my Muir cap and I exchange my sneakers that I drove in for my leather boots.

Being geared up from head to toe, one tends to exude a unique attitude.  It is more than persona.  It is a confidence; a self declaration that you are the baddest mofo in this place and yet there is nothing unique in the observation that every other guy has the exact same uniform, with the same attitude.

Ironically this is what makes the experience a whole vibe. 

9:00pm

I start off at the Lone Star on Harrison St.  I order a soda.  I stay there for about thirty minutes before I migrate to The Eagle.  Folsom is the street my “go to” bars are on.  I make my way around the corner and down the block. 

San Francisco has some lengthy blocks.  Around the corner could be a hike.  These boots aren't the most comfortable but I'll be alright.

This is twenty two years prior to me writing this so my willingness and ability to withstand hours of uncomfortable boots for the sake of vanity was much more a priority then than it is now.

As I walk down Folsom, the traffic of party goers mixed with Leather Daddies and Leather boys is as commonplace as any normal attire.

The casual way kinksters and leathermen exist in the South of Market gives me the presence of finding my spot.

10:00pm ish

I walk into the first bar on Folsom for my bar crawl.  There’s a pretty heavy turnout.  The smooth house grooves fill the atmosphere.  The lights are low but bright enough to make eye contact with my fellow cruisers. 

The beat of the music intensifies as I migrate through the dancefloor.

Thump, thump, thump, thump

The drum of the house song along with the baseline is infectious.  If it doesn't make one get up and dance, it definitely puts each guy out cruising into a unique zone.  As I maneuver my way through the crowd, I feel the leather and flesh of bodies bumping and grinding into mine.

I reach my destination to the other side of the bar.  I'm there for about 15 to 20 minutes.  There are a lot of guys in their leather looking the part, but no action.  I open the back door and walk into the smoking area that is a closed off corridor.  It is almost the length and width of THE ALLEY of the bar I've written about in the past.  Although this is designated for guys to have a smoke, you will find many guys on their knees blowing other guys or against the wall getting railed.

I'm taking in the view.  The guy to my left is watching me.  Im getting aroused by the attention but I don't take it out.

He moves in closer and grabs my bulge.  Because I have my chaps 

Click to continue reading

CLAP

LINK: THE EXODUS

           THE SCARS           

I'm currently out of commission.  Had to get a shot to clear something up.

Needless to say I am unequivocally retiring Prep and going back to condoms.  It is going to change a great deal how long I last as condoms tend to make me lose my erection over a period of time.

If it was just me I'd probably consider still using Prep, but the hardest thing was telling Boss.

He wasn't upset, but seeing his face when he said, "I thought you were more careful," kind of tore into me.

Boss is not the jealous type.  He understands that I enjoy playing with various guys.  He also knows how fastidious I am when it comes to minimizing germs and disease. Although often I can be messy as fuck, clean environments, good hygiene and disease prevention is a big practice for me. And though I should not place so much value on what others think, Boss is the one person whose opinion I value the most.  

As for now I am going to pause on any activity.  It's not as if I was majorly active any way.  However, it only takes one person.  

Sooo. 🤔 How's the weather? 😃 

NO PLACE LIKE HOME

May 3, 2026

Sunday

There really is no place like home.  My dad and the narcissist get along like oil and water.  It's understandable no one can truly get along with this person.  During his annual meeting with his nurse practitioner, we were all interviewed.  It was literally like a comedy skit watching the whole thing.

There were a few missed opportunities in which the narcissist slipped in their criticisms.  Usually I come down hard on myself for not saying anything.  I really didn't have much regret for holding back. It happens so fast that you just don't know what hit you.  This person is so smooth with their digs.  Especially if they are in their nice phase. They act sweet, kind as if they actually might have feelings and then just when you let your guard down, they sneak in with little digs to test the waters.  Depending on the response they begin to escalate.

I have two words:  

Grey rock.

It is usually easier said than done but in this case. It wasn't difficult at all.  I already decided the boxing gloves were staying home.

 Opposed to the usual routine of turning into the wicked witch of the North, South, East and West, this person was eerily nice. 

I've done enough research to understand that this is nothing more than a tactic to attempt to keep me stuck in their venomous web.

There were a few moments where they started going in on what they perceive as my character flaws.  I just gave them my, well nothing.  I gave nothing.  I listened without listening while displaying my blank Stedford Wives stare.

Needless to say I am glad to be back home.  

Today Boss and I are attending an outdoor Celtic festival.  I do enjoy Celtic music to a degree.  This is more his speed than mine.  Culturally we are totally different.  I am more R&B, some Hip Hop, Old School, Jazz, Classical. My musical palate is actually quite eclectic.  However, I was brought up on R&B Soul and Motown.  

Boss is a folkie.  Folk, Bluegrass and artists like Odetta, Pete Seeger and Joan Baez scrambles his playlist.  We have introduce each other to various sounds that broadened our listening pleasure. He's turned me into a Judy Collins lover as I've introduced him to Prince. And of course we both love Van Morrison.

Today is going to be a pretty long day for the both of us but I do look forward to getting out for a bit.  Sundays are my favorite days for relaxing and making the most of the Chill Day.  Although I usually do a good amount of writing and or reading on Sunday, today is going to be our day to enjoy the outdoors and good music.

SOUTHEN CALI

It is coming up on the annual wellness meeting for my dad.  This is the meeting that all caregivers have to attend even though I am not the main caregiver.

Needless to say I am not looking forward to it. Not to be the deadbeat son, but I can care less about going to Southern Cali anymore.  

The fact that I have been painted as the deadbeat,  been gaslit into thinking that I'm problematic, called names, yelled at, and disrespected by the narcissist has made me totally check out.  

In no way am I checking out on my dad (although he's no walk in the park either.) I'm done with the bullshit that comes with dealing with this person.  

No one else stands up to this person.  No one else tells this person what they need to hear. Even if they did it wouldn't change their behavior.  

They try it with me.  Sometimes I don't have the energy and just give in.  Sometimes I tell myself this person is not going to get away with this madness on my watch and match their level of crazy.  What I have learned is that does nothing but makes me exhausted.  There is no competing with a this person's crazy.  

Lately I have chosen another alternative.  Speak my truth and give them the space to accept it or not.  If the person chooses to escalate, I cut it off right at the beginning and let them know I will not engage in this fuckery.  

Fortunately I will only be there for one day.  I am flying out the day prior and coming back a few hours after the meeting.  I am not staying any longer than I have to.

I will be there for my dad the best that I can.  I will help this person out to the best of my ability but I don't take orders from them.  I am not an employee and I will not be disrespected.  

I'm not bringing my boxing gloves to this place.  I am just not going to engage any longer. However, disengaging does not mean not saying what needs to be said. 

AURALISM: ANAL BEADS FOR ZERO

 Zero knew what was in store when I told him to recite what the pink hanky is for.

Blindfolded, I put ear plugs in his ears and turned up the music to throw him off. Slowly working the anal beads in and out, I would increase the size causing a symphony of moaning.

HOW IT’S GOING

 So this is my day so far. 

I undoubtedly love the interaction with kinky like-minded men.

BLUEISH GRAY

The dim gray ambient of the sky fills the living room

With just enough light to enjoy for the next thirty minutes

After that

It will be dark enough to close the blinds

And put some lights on

But for now I enjoy what’s left of the daylight

The sky has a bluish gray tint from the last hour’s rainfall

It’s quiet now

Almost serene

This would be the perfect time to strip down to my underwear

Kick the heat up and just relax
Or do whatever a guy laying in his underwear on the couch does

Fuck everything I need to do 

Papers scatter on the living room floor

Dishes pack the kitchen sink

Clutter near and far

And still quiet

Almost serene

It is the gray tinted blue

That melts all the anger

All the rage

Gone 

Nothing replaces the faint light

That caresses the room

With its bluish gray evening tint

FACT #38

 LINK: FACT

Today on my AMA online I was asked my 5 top kinks and 5 top places to have sex.

(Again I apologize for accidentally ignoring the AMA)

So This was a pretty hard question to answer because I love so much.

Here it goes in no particular order.

Favorite 5 kinks

1. Spanking- I love turning butt cheeks red.  That is my fore play and sometimes after play as well.

2. Oral training - Nothing like stuffing a nice warm mouth with something whether it's my fingers, my dick or any other objects.  Your mouth will be filled.

3. underwear - I have a fetish for underwear.  There are the classic tighty whites and jockstraps.  I always tell a sub to strip to his underwear when he gets into the room.  Also I am taking your underwear and not giving them back.  I am the ultimate underwear bully.

4. Lately I have been turned on by lingerie.  I am not really turned on to men who dress like women fully as I am attracted to a blend of Masculine and Feminine energy.  A good example: a man that has his tradition masculine look but may have lace panties, garter lingerie, or fishnet stockings.  That turns me into a beast every time.

5. I have to do six because there is really more to me than 5.  Number five is Water Sports.  I love it on him in him and sometimes on me as well.

6. Flogging -I love getting guys in that type of intense headspace.

5 places to have sex.

1. A hotel room - I like hotels because the are for the most part clean and comfortable.

2. Motel room - Yes there is a difference. A motel is cheaper, it is not as comfortable and clean as a hotel but sometimes you just want that seedy atmosphere .

3. A sling - Slings are perfect for sex. On a bed you have to maneuver and twist your body for a good position.  With a sling, it is a much easier access.  It allows for less time trying to get the right angle allowing to fuck longer and harder and deeper.

4. A Back yard - It is open enough for outdoor sex but still private enough.

5. Actually I believe that is it for my favorite places.

   
   

   And there are plenty of honorable mentions.

WHAT DID I JUST DO

 Summer of 1997

 LINKS: THE LEVEE

               THE INITIATION

It was a hot summer day and I wanted to go for a walk by the levee.  My motive for going changed dramatically since my encounter with the guy by the levee.  My whole perspective of what I'm reaching for has been divided in two.  The battle between my faith and sexuality continued to rage.  

What once was a casual walk became an obsession. 

I constantly searched for that lust hit that reeled me in the first time.  I may have lied to others.  I may have lied to myself.  But my heart knew why I was out there.

I was looking for that hit. 

Would I find him again? 

It had to have been about 1pm in the afternoon.  I roamed the levee area for at least two hours going on my "walk." 

I decided to return back home after not finding what I was looking for.

Later during sunset

I decided to take another walk out by the river.  I had resolved that I didn't need to "look" for anything and I would simply enjoy the outdoors.

 I started with my normal route, walking down the concrete road walking past the first and second parking lots, near where the restrooms were.  I walked past that area through the gate that leads to the bike trail. 

 

On my walk, I noticed a White guy venturing off the bike trail down a path leading into some bushes.  It is not uncommon for folks to take trails leading through the shrubbery for shade.  I didn't think much of it until I saw another guy walking in behind him.  He gave me the same look that the Masturbator gave me weeks days prior.  

Curiosity got the best of me.  I soon followed his

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STROKE 23

From the blog entry Stroke 23  

on THE MASTURBATION CHRONICLES

April 14, 2026

           

 8:33am

I receive a phone call from my dentist asking to reschedule my appointment.  Boss isn't working today.  He is meeting up with two of his co-workers for lunch.  He finally has an opportunity to get out of the house and do something with his friends.  

Usually I would go with him since I am the one to transport him everywhere.  I decided since I don't have to go to my appointment I would drop him off so that I could have  a little free time to myself.

12:15pm

We arrived at the restaurant.  I walked him inside and took off.

Finally I would have some free time to myself even if it would be an hour or two.

I get in the shower and lather up.  I dry off and get my iPad out to record the session. I know I am not going to have the time to get into a deep Bate session but I enjoy myself with the time that I do have.  

I turn on the recorder, put on my wife beater and my new gray jockstrap I recently purchased online.

I put on my favorite pair of leather gloves.  Actually the only pair I have left.  I had 10 pair of those gloves at one time.  They have all been worn and torn from constant exposure to lube, cum and just normal wear and tear.  Unfortunately once this pair is done I most likely won't have another pair like them.  Mr. S no longer carry the style and it has been damn near impossible to find another pair online. I did find other colors but black is my color. 

Regardless of my need to preserve these as long as I can, I put them on for this session.  Today I won't be wearing the usual ball cap nor will I be wearing my Muir cap.  Today I will have my pup hood on.

I have added my weight back.  I'm not half as freaked out about it as in the past.  I know how my weight fluctuates.  I will enjoy my sexiness in whatever size I am at.  

I take a few pictures as my dick grows.  I get on the bed, pull my dick out of the side of my jockstrap and begin to stroke using olive oil for my choice of lube.

I know that I'm not going to cum.  I just enjoy dressing up and getting sexy in front of the camera if I cum, I cum. If not I have new pics to share for my blog.  

As a matter of fact I already expect the phone to ring soon anyway.  Just before I get my clothes out to put on, the phone rings.  It's 2:22pm when Boss calls me ready to be picked up.  I let him know I am on my way.  I get dressed put my gear and camera up and get ready to leave.  A little less than two hours of having the apartment to myself is better than nothing.

SHOPPING

Some day this year or last. Hell! Pick a day.

 As I walk into the local grocery store, I walk in more as a voyeur than a shopper.  The volume of men, mainly White guys that wear gym shorts with no underwear is astounding.

The angle of the dangle, the hypnotic swing of the pendulum; It really is an incredible thing to witness.

There is no particular "type" of guy that catches my attention.

The Black produce guy with the shoulder length locs is quite appealing.  Hundreds of twisted locs obscures his face as he breaks down boxes.  Nice ass.  Round and very callipygian.  Thick in all the right places.  

"What does that face look like?  I know what that ass looks like!"

He takes a break to snap his neck back, sweeping the hair out of his face.  It is like it is happening in slow motion. 

Dark skin.  Round thick lips.  Did I mention thick ass? 

There's a good amount of Asian guys shopping today. 

Anyone else notice how much ass a lot of them have behind them?   

I'm like, "Damn!"

Something I notice about each demographic: (Yes I'm generalizing.)

The conversations that go through my mind while "shopping" are highly inappropriate and politically cancel worthy to many sensitive snow flakes.  These are my private thoughts when shopping.  Save your hate mail for when I really get real.

White guys don't wear drawls: (Where I'm from they are not drawers.) 

Fight me on this.

Asian dudes got ass. Plenty.

Black Dudes are almost like unicorns.  I don't know where we are hiding, I didn't get the memo but the one's I do get the opportunity to observe Ain't missing any meals.  Thick in so many places.  I am not mad at that either. 

Yes this is objectification at its finest. 

Gay, straight. Whether by themselves with their girl friend or spouse It doesn't matter.  Not when you are shopping for eye candy.

I did go to the store to buy something.

Irrelevant.

MY BIRTHDAY SPANKING

Some time in 2004 

At the leather bar in Sac

          

One of my best times at my old hang out was the night my ass turned red.

At the bar was this bartender Keith.  He was a good looking White gentleman.  He was definitely a Daddy type with salt and pepper hair, nice strong shoulders and biceps.  He had somewhat of an intimidating presence with his size, and his stare was intense especially with people he was not familiar with.  But he became one of my favorite bartenders, even if it was at a price; a price I didn't mind paying.

It was my 33rd birthday.  The bar was well attended with hot guys which was even better.

As usual most of the guys had their own social circles in the bar.  I never was a big bar person.  My main motivation for going to the bars was to cruise.  Outside of that, I didn't go out much.

Not having my own social circle, I figured I wouldn't stay long.  I pulled up a chair and made my request.  He starts off jokingly harassing me about how young I looked.  

"What are you doing in here!"  

"Getting a drink," I replied.

"Hold up!  Let me see your I.D!"

"What!  Are you shitting me?" Keith yelled.

"No Sir! I'm not! And by the way where's my free drink?" 

"I'll give you your free drink! Get your ass over here!"

He walks from behind to the edge of the bar where the last chair is.  He motions me to him and pats his knee as to communicate for me to sit.  I walk over to him with a big grin because this guy is hot.  I'm slightly embarrassment from all the attention.

Keith yells out for everyone's attention.

"Today is...."

"Mark," I interrupt.

"Mark's Birthday.  He thinks he deserves a free drink!"

There's Laughter in the crowd.  

"You're gonna get your Birthday drink, but you're still gonna have to pay for it." Keith says mischievously.  

"Today Mark is 33!"

The crowd cheers.  He turns to me and begins to pull my pants down. 

"What the hell are you doing!" 

He bends me over his knee and he begins to smack my bare ass right there in the bar for all to see. 

"1!" the crowd shouts.

 Smack

"2" again jeering and laughing.  

At this time I'm smiling along while wincing with each strike.

This was my first time ever being spanked in public and I must say being over this guy's knee with his strong arms holding and spanking me got me excited.  By the 33rd strike, my butt was burning.  Even as dark as my skin is there was a red hand print on each cheek.  

He pulled me up with my butt still exposed, and whispered in my ear, "You liked that didn't you?" 

"It was alright." I shrugged with a slight grin. 

"I know you did. I felt you getting hard when your dick was on my knee," He said with a smile.

Now I'm even more embarrassed.

Keeping my ass toward the crowd, he slightly tugged on my pants to see my cock. 

"You're still hard." he said then he gave a quick yank on my dick and pulled my pants up.

I kid you not.  If that man would have bent me over the bar and fucked the hell out of me in front of everybody I would have let him do it.

"Happy Birthday!" he said with a smile and offered me my drink of choice. 

For about a month I would go in every Thursday night when he was working for a public spanking. We never had sex because of his committed relationship but he made me hot enough with his spank sessions. 

Shortly after, he moved out of town with his partner.  I often think back to those times.  It has been quite some time since I've been spanked, even longer in front of everyone in a bar.  But with the right Daddy and the right chemistry I would bend over and take the discipline in a heartbeat.

IT NEVER FAILS

January 17, 2026

I'm eating a maple-glazed doughnut bar filled with custard.

It's so sweet. 

As I bite into the doughnut the custard oozes into my mouth.  I am instantly hard.  It never fails.  Every time I eat any cream filled doughnut, my dick stiffness like a brick and I feel like a total slut.

I discovered the maple glazed with custard is much more powerful than the whipped cream filled. hmmmm🤔

Needless to say I don't dare eat these things in public! 

Maple glazed sugar high and woody.

AURALISM: WHAT I DO WHEN I’M BY MYSELF

LINK: AURALISM

What I do by myself.

I love having alone time. It makes me so horny.

No my voice isn't really that deep. lol

I decided to alter the tone.
I do that sometimes for a different persona altogether.

Although I love the sexual attention, I am still very low key. Not everyone needs to know or deserves to know everything.

Maybe one day all the pieces to the puzzle will be made available.

But For Now…

AUALISM: PRACTICE

LINKS: AURALISM

             ORAL TRAINING 

Practicing my deethroat skills on my dildo.

I didn't go into slime mode on this one Like fellow blogger RUB MY BUTCH.  But it was quite fun taking it as far down as I possibly could. 

It is very easy for me to get self-conscious especially with the bigger dicks to feel like I’m just not pleasing them right when I can't go down all the way. 

Ironically, I’ve had just the opposite response.

Guys some how love my head. 

I do take my time. I do savor the taste, the smell, the texture and I get very involved in enjoying every inch never forgetting there are testicles, a taint, and the whole package of a man to please.

But for training purposes in this audio clip, my goal is to exercise that throat. And yes. I thoroughly enjoy the dildo as well.

TODAY'S PICK: RESHEATHED

LINK: TODAYS PICK

After reading RESHEATHED by Rub My Butch, I was inspired to search for an audio of my own current throat training.  I should have it up in a few days.

Class is in session as Rub My Butch demonstrates his deepthroating skills on a hollow sheath.

 

Maybe it's for purposes of not getting too messy or maybe it is something he enjoys doing.  He tends to suck up his saliva usually just before it falls and or gets sloppy.

The last video is the golden video.  The moment I enjoyed.  That moment when for a second he lets go a bit, explaining the strings as it runs down his beard during his discussion.  He goes down his throat as if to tell himself, "I'm not through with you."

The gag.  

That wonderful spit.

Often there is this curious and even a bit of entitling urge to see a Dom or top get a taste of his own medicine; even if he is self administering it. 

Being a man that almost always or at least have experienced for myself what I put my bottoms through helps me to understand deeper the command or demand I have for that sub at the time.

"...Cocksucker trick for the day.  You keep gagging two or three times, your mouth is full of J-Lube.  You are the perfect throat fuck." - Rub My Butch 

The last few seconds of video three is golden.

"Guys won't tell you. They'll just fuck you in the throat and make it happen.  Some know what they're doing, some don't..."  - Rub My Butch

And then there's guys like me that know how to get there, take it there but just never knew exactly how to put it to words. The author puts it into action and words most eloquently.

THERE’S A HOLE THERE

April 1, 2026

   Wednesday 

My dentist told me I had a hole the size of Rhode Island. 

That was a little personal Doc but um, okay. 🥴

Oh he was talking about my tooth.

Good news it salvageable.

Now I just have to work on my other hole. 🧐

AURALISM: LOGAN

              LINKS: AURALISM

                                   LOGAN

Hotel room in Brentwood CA.

                      August 30, 2024

The sound of flesh clapping, Logan moaning, and me breathing heavy from a rigorous sexual work out.

The rhythmic plowing produces melodic queef like sounds that always delivers me into overdrive.

JUST THE TIP

 

FRIDAY

March 28, 2026

               Friday 

             1:50 pm

Usually masturbation don't leave me sexually frustrated.  Many see it as a last resort to not getting any.   Not I.  I totally embrace self pleasure.  Not as something that I just have to settle for because another person isn't available, but as the main course that will bring me the ultimate satisfaction.  

Lately however, my attempts at self pleasure has been that of sheer frustration and annoyance.

Since my husband has been working from home, I haven't had the privacy to do the extra that I enjoy. 

Even when closing the door to the office room he works in provides very little privacy whenever he comes out for breaks.

My Bate times have been reduced to quick rub outs. 

My idea of turning the garage we rent into my bating headquarters  was thwarted when I almost got caught beating my meat by maintenance in the apartment complex. 

One of the staff noticed that the garage was open about one fifth of the way.  The maintenance person (which is a lady) used her opener to test if the door was working, raising the door up.  I quickly ran to stop it from going any further.

"It's me. I'm in here."

"Oh! She said. I'm so sorry," She laughed nervously.  

I don't know what she thought I was doing in there but the last few times I saw her and one of the male workers, they were giggle their asses off.  

"Yeah they know." 

Taking about major embarrassment. 

Kind of funny.  Kind of.  If it were someone else.

Hook ups, cruising, and kink sessions have been pretty much non existent as well since Boss's health change last year.

It is usually not a big deal if I'm not getting together with dudes.  But

not having an outlet to jerk it has been the breaking point in my patience.

Approximately 3:00pm

I'm in the telegram chat groups sending out bat signals.

"Anyone in Sac, I'm looking to fuck." 

I search Sniffies. 

Nothing. 

I put a message on the Sniffies board.

Nothing.

The last resort is the place with the fuck van.

Since I have been getting so-so results out of there lately, I figure, "Why not!"

I go in, pay for the king size room with the shower, strip, shower up, wrap the towel around me and get ready to head out on the floor.

Before I hit the floor where the van is, I migrate down the hallway to check out who's in the public showers.  There's no one for now. I turn around and walk down the hall.  As I get to the end where my room is, I look across the way and see a silhouette of a beefy guy.  The room is dark. I can only see the his silhouette.

I walk in slowly.  I can see him a little better. There is still a mystique to who this gentleman is.  

"Do you suck dick," he asks.

"Yes indeed!"

"Come in and turn the light up."

I turn the light up and adjust the lighting so that it is dim but light enough to see what he looks like.  

He is a good looking Thirty-Something maybe Samoan guy with broad shoulders, nice guns, a round but not overtly large belly.  He is thick in all the right places.  He has a pretty thick one between his legs.  He is sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs open.

There's a pillow on the ground. 

"Get that pillow and get on your knees," he commanded in a calm yet  authoritative manner.

Click here to continue.