It’s 1:00am in the morning and I had a sharp craving for a chicken sandwich from BK. This is the first craving I had in a long time.
Normally I would hate this battle of “Should I go out and satisfy my itch.”
However I’m glad I’m actually getting my appetite back. It was bad for a minute. I couldn’t take a bite of anything without gagging and wanting to throw up.
The grief of losing Boss weighed and still weighs heavy.
And then there was the death of my father just a few weeks after My husband.
Throw in harassment of the narcissist pushing every button to make me either breakdown and comply to their outlandish and sometimes harmful commands; or just being verbally abusive just to get and emotional response out of me literally left me sick to my stomach.
Yes. A lot has happened.
Yes. I have a few great support systems to help me through this time. I’ve been taken great care of and fortunate to have a few great friends and a local support group that I recently started attending.
Feeling the need to write about it just hasn’t come up.
There is one friend that has been more helpful than he could ever imagine.
Logan made sure to check on me regularly. The beautiful thing about him is he never knew what to say. He outright declared that he did not what to say or do. The beautiful thing that I hope he realizes now is that he is already doing it. When I need someone to talk to he is there. Often times it is not what you say that brings comfort but just being there in times of need. And I love the fuck out of him for that. I cannot say "thank you" enough.
By the way, I decided not to get the chicken sandwich and do some writing instead. The craving is gone . Not to worry though. My appetite is pretty much back. I just have a different relationship with the concept of food now which is somewhat a good thing.