GOING OUT WITH A BANG!!!

 LINKS: LB

             THE EXODUS

AUGUST 1, 2025

After spending close to a month in rehab, the facility finally set a date that Boss would be released.

Uncertain what the circumstances would be once he got out, I informed Boss that I would be going out of town before he got out.

August 2, 2025

I want to make sure whoever I get with is very special, as it may be a while before I do it again.  As a matter of fact, the person I decide to get together with must be someone I really connect with to make it worth my while.

This is easy: 

LB.

I send him a message.

"I would love to spend a few hours with you. I'm thinking August 8th around 7pm until we both fall out? lol..."

Nothing on my calendar ... so that date would work, sure!" He responds.

August 5th

"Hi Mark. How are things looking for this Friday..."

He sends me a link of a guy in one of the telegram groups.  He's a white guy with a humongous dick.  

I never saw what he looks like because he only post from his torso down.  I just know that he has what appears to be maybe a 31 or 32 waist. He is wearing some blue jeans a dress shirt and a monster of a dick poking out of those jeans.

LB writes,"This guy looks fun, if you have any desire to bring in a third..."

I ask if he contacted him.

"I haven't chatted with him at all. No insight," he replies.

"You just saw his cock and was dicknatized!🤣 That's okay. So was I. lol"I joke.

We attempt with a good amount of prospects but can't find anyone.  I decide it's for the best anyway.  This way I could have him all to myself.

August 8, 2025

  About 6:00pm

We spend a few minutes chatting and getting our devices ready for recording.  He has this set up on his phone in the upper corner of the bed which gives a great perspective.  He also has another phone that he sets up somewhat to the side of the bed.  I have my iPad that I usually always use.  That is it for me.  

After getting our recording devices together we strip down to our underwear.  I am in my signature black ball cap, black tank top and blue and black jockstrap.  He is in a black shirt and blue boxer briefs.  It wasn't planned but our colors are matching.  It is like serendipity.  The last big hurrah before my Exodus and even our colors match. (although the clothes comes off very early in our play) I didn't even recognize it until reviewing the footage.

Because I hate how the first dose of 2-1-1 Prep makes me sick, I choose to take my first dose the day prior which leaves me only one pill to take.  My goal is to start off with condoms and later if I decide to go bare for a while, I will.

As we are on the bed, he decides to turn his Apple Watch to a work out monitor to see how many calories he burns during our own work out.

We get into some brief foreplay.

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A NEW CHAPTER, SAME JOURNEY

 LINK: THE EXODUS

Boss, my husband has been in rehabilitation.  There has been a change in his mobility.  When he finally got out of rehab a few days ago, I pretty much knew that our lifestyle would be much different as he requires more physical care.  

I don't know what this new lifestyle is going to look like in the future but I know for now, his needs require me to be there for him a lot more than I have in the past.  

I'm okay with that.  I'm more of a homebody anyway.

For now, this is my EXODUS from the whole scene; at least for a while.  I don't know what a while looks like.  

It could be a few months.  It may be a year.  It may be a few years and that's okay.  

It's not a burden.

I'm alright with this exodus.  I'm alright with not making the Horse Market events, Interrogaytions, taking a break from online dating / fucking and I also worked my last caregiving shift with my client.

Almost  30 years I've worked taking care of various families.  Now it is time to take care of my own.

This is not a sacrifice.  This is not a tough decision where I'm giving up something I am really passionate about to take care of the one I love.

It is more of a breaking point of a built up need for change.  

I am 54 years old.  

Twenty nine years of bending, lifting and fitting myself into tiny, awkward spaces has caught up with my body.  The only person I am going to do that for is my husband (Fortunately he is not that bad off) and my father when I visit or he visits.

As for hook ups, play sessions, and even this blog:

The whole hook up game has gotten old.  There are a very selected few that are worthy of my precious time.  I am sure they know who they are.

Two of those regulars I am giving a special shout out to: LB and Logan.

LB even though we don't hang out and chat with each other on a regular basis, I feel a closeness to him. We have a chemistry that is like no other sexually. When we fuck, we fuck like crazy and the beautiful thing about him is he see me as human.  Not some kind of fantasy.  

Logan: What can I say that hasn't already been said before? 

Logan is a friend.  He reaches beyond contact or booty call.  He messages me and checks up on me regularly.  Though we don't play much these days, it is always uplifting getting a message from him.

As for prospects: There are a few prospects that I have been in contact with. I am still open to getting to meet up and getting to know them as long as they understand that sex, BDSM, and kink is not my main agenda when connecting.  

So where does this leave the blog?

Writing has always been my outlet.  It has always been my therapy.  I doubt that will change.  Maybe the format might shift a little.  Maybe the entries may become more introspective opposed to prurient in nature, but I believe that as long as I have the resource and ability to do so, I shall.

This time may give me the opportunity to catch up on some of the experiences I have yet to share about. Besides, there are plenty of retroactive experiences that are all part of THE MAKING OF DADDY SCRUFF. 

So the short of it: Who knows what anything looks like right now.  I guess we will see along the way.

DEAD INSIDE

 LINK: THE SCARS

I hate when guys break off communication.  I hate it even worse when it was them that initiated conversation to begin with.  

I really should have witnessed the warning signs from the beginning.  The high praise, The placing me on a pedi stool, the inability to come "out of character" and just see me as Mark as opposed to Daddy or Sir.

What I find more often than not is this facade of being interested in connection and engagement but really they just want to be sexed in a way that would get them off.  Sometimes it's just a "wham bam" kind of thing.  Other times the "Friendship" can go on for years before you realize that they are just getting what they want from you and once the situation changes, and they are not receiving what they want at the capacity they are used to, they go radio silent.

When I was making trips to Southern California, there was a bate buddy that I would chat with on my drive to and back.  We talked about everything from our relationships to family stuff and day to day living.

Although our contact was long distance, I felt like we were great support systems for each other.  I strongly believe what changed was the situations going on in my life that put me in a non playful mood.  

When asked how a person is, there is the superficial bullshit and there is the real answer.  We kept it real 100%.  But when the answer is always "Horny," (And that always meant they wanted to bate either by phone or video) it got old.  Maybe my need for connection got old for him.

I know what it is like to be a needy bitch.  I have had plenty of people like that in my life.  It is draining.  I have been one of those needy bitches as well.   And I know that those demands can quickly drive a person away.  

That is why I try not to overstep another person's boundaries and space because I both know how it feels to be pestered and how devastating to a relationship to be the pest. 

This, in my opinion however, was more like the whole fantasy thing I continually bitch about. Everybody wants Daddy Scruff but will "tolerate" Mark until they are totally bored with him.

I would say that this really got me fucked up but I'm dead inside. lol

That's a serious cap! 

I feel.  

I feel deeply.

(Maybe too deeply.) 

But I can't deny that there has been plenty of numbing from this constant exposure to this behavior.

So, I won't say I'm dead inside.  Just in a deep coma.