Every day.
Every single day.
And though it may be nothing more than an over active imagination of what my eyes truly reveal, the reality of what was black is no more.
So why not name this post "GRAY" or "WHITE?"
Because BLACK is the origin.
Black is the state in which it all began.
And so it is.
I accept the reality. I also deeply miss the melanin that painted me a different picture from yesterday.
I have gone into miniature crisis in my 40's and now in my 50's I accept it.
I accept it.
It doesn't mean that I like it.
It doesn't mean that I embrace it.
It means I accept it.
If we don't accept it, we're doomed to a miserable existence. Agonizing about things beyond our control won't change a thing and robs us of all the possibilities that still exist. There's no sugarcoating it aging sucks. But with age and all the physical changes there hopefully comes a clarity of the things in life that really matter. I guess aging is the price we pay for that wisdom.
ReplyDeleteI am accepting. But One line you mentioned, "Agonizing about things beyond our control..." This is something out of my control. It is happening before my very eyes. It goes beyond the physical changes . Although looking at the ever aging man in the mirror wakes me up to my own mortality. It is much deeper. It is a realization that friendships will never be the same, Places I once visited are either no more or out of the realm of being visited. It is the special times that are mere memories. It is my charge to make new memories and cherish those who are in my life today which is a beautiful thing. It is also the fact of knowing that even the memories I make today are but a temporary moment to an inextricable fate. Yeah it's been a little dark lately. LOL
DeleteBut it's all good.
If it's any consolation, we all have those dark days or periods in our life where all we can focus on is the negatives in our lives. Winter is fast approaching here and it's one dreary cold sunless day after another. It's hard to maintain a sunny disposition and be positive. But just as quickly the sun may appear, someone might call, or we hear a certain song, and all those dark thoughts are forgotten for now. Sunny times and dark times....the bane of our existence.
ReplyDelete"But it's all good."
It is not fair to use my own words against me. lol But I hear you loud and clear. It just may take a moment for my heart to receive the memo. I do appreciate you.
Delete