MARK’S DNA INSIDE OF ME (PART 4)

        Links: THE INITIATION

                   THE MAKING OF DADDY SCRUFF

                  ORAL TRAINING

                  SIR

The year was 2002. It was my introduction into BDSM. And How I discovered the Dom in me. Day 4 of about a week of learning about being a sub for SIR. Also my breaking point.

By day four I was a mess,  I wasn't getting the sleep that I needed to be effective on my job.  I would bring this to his attention and insist that he lets me go earlier. 

 "Get over here or I will find another sub who will," he would snarl.

"What’s it going to be," he asked impatiently and almost sarcastically as if he was so sure I was going to drop everything to receive his dick.

Of course I wanted to please him. 
I wanted to make him feel as good as I possibly could.  

However, It would be nice to be able to get a good night's rest one night. 

1:00am 

 My jaw was killing me for being open for such a long time.  He used my mouth, and he used it good.  He decided to take my asshole and fuck me until I couldn't bear it.

 The way he ripped into me was so intense that it had me yelling almost a horrible cry but it wasn’t a cry of protest or major pain but a cry of, "Thank you!"

"Yes!" I would cry grabbing the sheets. 

Facing the mattress I would grab the sheets as I would watch in that small strip of mirror each time he plowed into me. It was always or at least mostly always me restrained, face down with him fucking me from behind. It was rarely face to face if ever.

After he was done he sent me home.  It was about 2:45am

Day 5

SIR called me over. At this point I felt that my role of ever being a top was being stripped away.  I had

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AURALISM: THE NO TELL MOTEL

 NOVEMBER 2, 2024

Link: AURALISM

It was a few days before waking up to a national nightmare.

Unsure of what the fate of our “great nation” would be, I decided to turn off all news and political commentary. I have done my civic duty. The rest was up to everyone else. Besides. I had other issues to focus on. 

It was another one of those trips to Dad’s place in Southern Cali. I can not remember why I chose to get a hotel room instead of staying at his place. I believe I had enough of The Narcissist's bullshit and opted for peace over sheer fuckery.

Even though it was early, I was tired from a long day.  I was ready for bed or at least to lay down for a bit.

There are some sounds that are so unforgettably familiar, especially when you can clearly hear the couple going at it in the hotel room next door. I now know exactly how Lincoln Duncan felt in that famous Paul Simon song.

As a matter of fact I laughed at the scenario. Poor guy just trying to get some rest and he has to put up with this couple banging each other’s brains out all night.

The horror!

Fuck it!

These morherfuckers gave me lemons. I'm going to squeeze and get some lemonade out of this bitch!

I put my ear to the wall. I listened to hear her moaning faintly. 

I then I put a glass to the wall. It was little better. But nothing like when I walked out of my room down to the the next room’s door. Not only could I  hear her moans (from down the hall from my door) but the intensity of their flesh clapping was quite impressive. Not only the speed which in itself superhuman sounding, but the duration this dude keep this tempo going.

One word.  

Impressive.

THE WALK

 LINK: THE INITIATION

Summer 1997


1997. This is before I had anal sex with any man.

Although my first official encounter with a man  was back in 92, when the guy known as MY FIRST showed me, how to suck dick. 
This period was way before my sexual development. 

1993 is the year that I went to church with a friend of mine, became interested in learning more about God, life and myself.  I began Bible studies and became an official member of the church, leading me on a spiritual journey. 

I don't really talk about my spiritual walk or my time in the church on this blog for the simple fact that I hold that journey to be a sacred one. Even though there were some challenging times during this period (1993 - 2001) and I don't practice my faith like when I was in the fellowship, that chapter is still a very sacred part of me.  Therefore, that is a place I rarely go on this blog. 

I bring this rare occasion up, because it ties in to the story at hand. 

It was 1997.

It was a summer day.  I was 26 years old.  The weather was warm but not overbearing; a perfect time of the day to go for a walk. 

It is not uncommon for me to go out, walk and catch some nice warm sun, especially taking that I used to live less than 10 minutes away from the river access. 


Although at the time I didn't have a car, the river access was no more than a 10 minute walk from the house I was living in.

There is a trail that I would walk with friends of mine from the church.  We spent a lot of time on those trails talking, praying, even hashing out our disagreements together. It was a trail that 
I've walked many times with my fellow brothers, as well as many times I've walked alone. 

One afternoon, I was making my way through the trail.  I walked down a path going towards the river. 
As I found myself walking through the shrubs, I saw a person about 20 feet away from me. I paid this person no attention at first because I just saw him as just another person walking through the shrubbery getting to the river access. As I continued, I noticed him staring at me. 
I looked back, smiled and said hi as I went on about my business.

 I noticed as I was walking sounds of footsteps behind me. They were not majorly close, but close enough to hear the bustling of the bushes.  I turned around it was the gentleman.  Although I knew it wasn't uncommon for people to reach for a similar destination by the river, there were the concerns for my safety taking that I was in a place that makes it hard to see if something were to happen.  

Without making my behavior too conspicuous, I picked up the pace and turned left.  He turned right into a cul de sac of bushes.

I turned around  slightly relieved that he wasn't following me. I saw him more and more into the distance as I migrated away from him.

He was still staring at me.

I found that quite strange behavior.  My emotions transitioned from being nervous about my safety to an actual curiosity as it appeared as though he was

signaling me to come over.  The gesture wasn't obvious but just enough.  My curiosity was sparked.

I started walking back to where he was.  As the vision became clearer, I saw him standing there with his penis out.  It was very hard.  He was holding it. He wasn't stroking it, much. (very slowly) but he was holding it while looking at me.  I was totally shocked.  I was thinking to myself, "What the heck is going on?"

 I have never seen anything like this in public in my life.  I was stuck between confused, somewhat disturbed, and even turned on.  I found myself more disturbed and confused than anything.  I walked away, to turn back towards the main road. I actually decided to walk back.  He was still there with this penis out, looking at me.  I stayed there for about probably 60 seconds to a minute and a half just watching him as he looked at me. I then turned around and I left that place as fast as I could. 


There was so much that was going through my head: 

"Why in the hell would he do something like that? Why was he looking at me?"

 
And then there was the disgust that someone would actually do something like that in public. There was also the disgust that I actually liked what I saw.  I was captivated, and it did disgust me.  It disgusted me because I was on my walk.  Not just any casual kind of walk by the river, but I was on another walk. 


I was on a journey.  It had been very difficult,  but also a rewarding journey.   A spiritual walk. 

Yeah, I was a church boy.   But I was more than just a church boy.  I was truly on a mission to be the best me I could be.  Sometimes what my flesh wanted went against what the doctrine taught me, and it did cause battles.  It did leave scars. Even 30 years later.  That is perfectly alright because I'm much more mature now. But I still have such a long way to go. 

I understand the importance of knowing what my own personal walk looks like. 

At the time, it was a challenge trying to understand the difference between my spiritual walk and my sexual journey and understanding that often the two would clash.  Even today I cannot say the two are reconciled.  But I do know that even though I find great pleasure in writing about my sexcapades, I love photographing artistic male nudes, I love BDSM and Kink, It does not feed my soul.  If I'm being really honest it is nothing more than a pleasurable distraction. The real peace is listening to that still small voice that is most powerful than anything I can think of.  

For me it is a matter of learning balance.

I believe the days of being the good church boy are over.  But I also know I'm not trying to be a heathen neither.

Time reveals.

WHEN THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED

This remains and shall 

Between our lips and ears

For no one else to comprehend 

There are times when the hunter 

Becomes the hunted

Then it is his turn to wait

But doesn't the hunter always wait?

Is he not used to lying

On the prowl?

Often the hunter 

Instructs the hunted to wait 

For instruction 

For the waiting game 

Is inextricable to all

Once captured 

The hunter protest not

He waits 

And waits some more

For he knows 

The impetuous 

Is devoured

By his own consequence

The hunter delights 

In the captivity

For it is in his wisdom 

True power exchange

Is the joy knowing

You are worthy 

Of being hunted

SWALLOW

 

                                               S W A L L O W   F U C K I N G  P I G !

LEATHER GLOVES

 I found the question “Why are you wearing leather gloves,” a strange question to ask a guy in a leather bar.  It was like I had made the ultimate fashion faux pas.

“I’ve always liked leather gloves.  It is a fetish of mine,” I replied.  

It wouldn’t be the first or the last time I would get asked that question.

Over time my response would be, “Let me show you.”

That reply would always put a curious smile on their faces.

Leather gloves need no explanation.

But for the sake of entertainment, here are a few examples of what I use my leather gloves for.

Number one reason: They look good. Leather gloves bring out the definite virile appearance when matched with the right attire.  Leather gloves put the Leather in Leatherman.

The tactile sensation drives a bottom crazy.  Caressing, rubbing, stroking and touch altogether is a whole different level with leather gloves on.

Bending a boi on his knee or laying him ass up while turning his butt cheeks red gives more mileage for both him and I to work with.  When spanking, I know what the sting feels like with a bare hand and gloved.  Being gloved adds that barrier that gives me the ability to spank a little longer than when I am bare.  Remember the bottom is not the only one feeling that sting.

Oral training.

There is nothing like opening a sub’s mouth and reaching down his throat.  The spit, the struggle, the desire to please.  The ability to make a man gag and push his boundaries right off the shelf is remarkable.

Getting him on his back, opening his legs and violating his hole with my fingers, all honorable mentions.

Also if the sub won’t shut up just shove them in his mouth.  You now have a perfect gag.

There are more uses, but for now I will leave it at that.  For now, I am going to get in the shower play with it a while and go back to bed.

NO UNDIES

 February 7, 2026

I just discovered that one of the maintenance  men, a thirty-something Latino with dark brown skin, short wavy black hair, and a sexy Spanish accent, wears no underwear.

Currently running around the apartment trying to see what else I can get him over to fix.

WAY TOO EARLY

 February 19, 2026

             Thursday

                4:41am 

 I woke up and went directly to an online account.  I Totally got distracted by hard aggressive porn that caught my attention at first glance but saw no real chemistry in the actors. Well of course that leads to scrolling through another video and another until I was deep into three hours of meaningless porn mixed in with doomscrolling, chaos, violence and gossip.  

I just was wanted to retrieve a message from my inbox.  I now understand why I have stayed away from the noise for so long. I also see how I easily get sucked back into it.  

It is too early to take in this psychological disturbance. 

HERE’S TO WHAT 2026 HAS TO BRING

February 16, 2026,

Monday 6:27 PM

 The last time I had sex with another man was on January 17, 2026, one day shy of a month. The guy now known as Buddy Holly is the guy I bred.  Since then, there hasn’t been anyone else to my recalling.  I have been pretty horny since then.  I have gone out to my usual cruising spots, looking to blow or get blown. The pickings, however, have been pretty slim. There aren’t many guys out cruising during the winter months.

Cruising here is pretty much a dying activity.  A part of me is rather indifferent towards it. Another part of me reminisces in my younger days when I was a young walking hormone ready to pounce on any breathing male on my radar as prey.  Back then it was primal, a little dangerous, scary yet fun. 

Often times those spots would be packed with bodies doing goodness knows what to each other.  Even though the sex was totally anonymous there was an energy that was felt. 

Now days there is a sparse interval of guys that just stand around doing nothing.  The ones that suck dick don’t usually know how to suck.  The ones that are looking for head spends so much of their time disengaged on their phones that sucking is pointless. 

In other words, I can take it or leave it.  That is until that throbbing happens between my legs that sends me out like a cock fiend looking for his next dick fix.

Although I have had occasional cravings to go on the hunt, I've been more engaged in staying at home and masturbating.  I’m finding more private spots and moments while Boss is busy with his work.  I’m still pretty much available if he needs me.  However, I’m also learning the best times and places to have some alone time.  

I recently posted on Fetlife an audio clip of me playing with my sex toy.  I mentioned that the hole feels almost as good as the real thing. 

I received a reply, “There is no substitute for the real thing.” 

For me, whenever I am stroking, fucking a flesh jack, or using any other device, I’m not trying to substitute it as anything.  I’m simply finding different ways to enjoy self pleasure.  I don’t need another man to make me feel good.  As a matter of fact there are many times when I would choose solo over hooking up with someone.  For now, my focus is on journaling and sharing my experiences.

About a year ago I had about 108 drafts on my hard drive from my old blog that I planned to post.  I’m actually caught up with all of them.  There are a few exceptions as some of those previous posts are no longer relevant.  From here out, all of my posts are live.  No more posts from the old blog.  However because I most likely won’t be as active sexually, I’m sure I will be sharing more stories from my past.

Here’s to what 2026 will bring as far as my blog entries. 

ATTENTION SPAN

My attention span has been crappy lately.  It has been weeks since I've read up on my fellow blogger's posts. It has even been somewhat challenging staying focused enough to stay still to write my own posts.

I have been posting a lot of content on my Fetlife profile however.  It is much easier to share my content when others engage with me. Yeah it is easy to get hooked on the endorphin rush of receiving a shit load of likes and views.  After all that is how they get us right?

Beyond that, I just enjoy the conversations I have with different guys. I actually use it more for a social media outlet than actually hooking up, not that I would turn down the opportunity when they come up.

Although I find Fet way more engaging than all the other social media sites, I realize that nothing helps my healing process more than blogging.  Even as I type this now the words are just coming to me.

As I continue to express myself through writing, my thinking is becoming clearer and clearer. 

There are some sites I just need to do away with once and for all.

 For instance.

 What used to be know as the 24th letter of the alphabet is now cognitive dissonance. The switch from angry slutty gay porn to political doom scrolling is not healthy in the least. Unfortunately The Sky app is not much better. All the minions just followed the half sane over there.

So for now I am sticking with Fet and here.

But I am really working on getting back to writing more and catching up on my reading.

SENIOR DISCOUNTS

 February 13, 2026

                    Friday

Today is not my Official Birthday.  But it is somewhere in this range. Possibly. 😏

55
It’s official.

I’m getting my senior discounts. Starting today. 🤭

As I hop from one restaurant to the next taking advantage of my 55+ senior discount, I’m actually grateful that I can make light of my aging process. I know too many people that dread the turning of a new age.  Not to say I didn't have my little crisis when my hair started turning gray in my forties.  I boo-hooed! lol true story.

But I am grateful for the ability to enjoy life as it is. May others find the joy and pleasure where they are in their chapters. 

By the way.  Today I'm going to be exclusively in my own little perverted element.
(not much different from any other day.)😏

P.S. I owe Logan an apology.  I really haven't been ignoring you.  I have been having the weirdest attention span as of late. Hell. It took a great deal of energy just to write this up.  I will get to your stories soon. I really have to reprogram my brain and step the fuck away from toxic media.

HALF TIME

I believe the push for Bad Bunny not to make any political statements backfired ROYALLY. 

There were so many statements and so much symbolism that resonated louder than his initial “Ice out” cry at the Grammys. 

This was more than a party or celebration display. 

That man told a story with each visual.

Honestly, I'm not a big follower of his music and I did not comprehend one word (at least not with my ears.) But I understood exactly what he set out to communicate.

I may not create a specific playlist in his name.  I may still be on the fence about whether I’m keen to most of his music but I definitely see him in a much more positive light as an artist and a human being.

By the way, for the longest time I was thrown off by him.  He seemed so aloof and stoic in every photo and every interview I've seen.

I just recently noticed that he appears to struggle with the right words to say in English.  It was when I saw a few interviews of him speaking his language that he was animated and alive.  He actually would smile and laugh even.

I say to PR: Get that man a translator and just let him do his thing.

ONCE THE WALL TUMBLES

Not much experience under one’s belt 

But know exactly what you want

I saw the tumescence 

Thump In your pants

Unsure if to make the first move 

You waited

May I 

I asked 

I caught every word 

How it was expressed

I chuckled silently 

During the power struggle 

In your head

Unwilling to back down 

Unwilling to let go

Eager to show 

At the end of the day 

You call the shots

I needed not to contend 

I had you at first contact

Whether you gave them 

Or I took them 

They are mine now

The underwear 

That once graced 

Your hairy thighs

Now belong to me 

To do as I wish 

With them

And just like those underwear 

Once the wall tumbles

Those hairy thighs 

Those hairy thighs 

Those hairy thighs 

Will be mine

I won’t hold my breath

YOU WILL SEE IT EVENTUALLY

Slapping your face with

Long strokes inside you

Until I see you

Trembling with satisfaction 

BUDDY HOLLY

January 17, 2026

             Saturday

I decided to go to the place with the fuck van.  I usually have not so good luck there, but the last few times have been an exception.

I get there and I decide to get the king sized room with a shower.  Even though I don't expect much from this place I decide to get the room anyway.  I put my stuff away and head for the area where all the action is.

 

I cruise around but not much going on.  There is one guy I notice that may have his eye on me.

He is about 5’8, thin build, Latino, maybe mid to late 20s.  He has a unique look as he has short curly hair.  He’s wearing thick glasses identical to what Buddy Holly used to wear.  As a matter of fact, the resemblance is so startlingly close, (with the exception of his olive skin tone) I can’t help but to study his features in amazement.  I want to but I don’t mention it to him.  

He probably wouldn't even know who Buddy Holly was. 

As innocent as his appearance may be, I know better than to allow outward appearances to dictate my perception of his prowess.  Besides, I got a glimpse of what he was doing in one of the glory hole stalls a few minutes earlier. 

He walks into the stall next to mine.  I close the door but I am not feeling the glory hole scenario.  I want body and eye contact, not just a hole; so I walk out.  He soon follows suit. 

I turn around and invite him to my room.

I ask him my two main questions, “Are you okay with condoms,” and “Do you like to get your dick sucked?”  There is a yes for both.

As soon as I close the door, he drops to his knees. His head game is pretty nice.  He gets me fully hard in his mouth.  Now I am ready to fuck.  He gets a wrapper and opens the packet and gently puts the condom on me.

I must commend anyone that can make putting on a condom sexy.  This is exactly what gets my juices flowing: A master at foreplay even in the usually clumsy task of wrapping it up.

I entered him as he bent over to the edge of the bed.

“ You want it harder,” I ask.

He wants it as hard and fast as I’m willing to give it.  We keep this position for a while but I move him closer to the head of the bed so that we could see ourselves in the mirror.

He has a tiny waist perfect for grabbing.  

Although he is thin, he has plenty of meat on his bones to grab hold of.  I grab his hips and use them as leverage to slam into him.  

He’s a moaner.   He’s not loud about it but vocal enough to tell he’s enjoying it.

We migrate directly on the bed.  He gets on his

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THREE WAY FUN

Back about 2007

It was a very frustrating evening being online only to get rejection after rejection; or even worse, being lead on by game players.

So I decided to call my buddy up to see what he was up to. This was one of my close friends but every now and then when something "arises" we would get together and mess around.

I called him up to see what was going on. "I'm a little busy tonight," he said. Right then and there I knew he had a meeting with some guy. "O.k. who is he?" I snapped. Laughing he explained that he was meeting a guy that was another buddy of his. To my frustration I sadly told him to have fun. There was a pause on the phone and then he asks If I wanted to see if his friend minded an additional friend. "Sure!" I said, hoping that he would say yes.

After getting the ok, He gave me the address to where they were. He told me to just come in and lock the door behind. So when I got there and did as instructed. I walked toward the back of the house to the bed room, and there they are on the bed in a 69 position sucking each other. My friend was a good looking White guy in his 40s at the time, nice body with an incredible ass. His friend was a 30 something Black guy with a nice cock and booty that jiggled with even touch of my friend's hand.

So I get naked and join in on the fun. That night we all took turns fucking each other. My buddy and his friend tag teamed me, Me and my buddy tag teamed the other guy. Its was a very good time. When I got home, I checked my messages and found three messages from guys interested in hooking up. Oh well! I had a great time regardless.

TWO THINGS I’D LIKE THIS YEAR

The two things I would like this year:

Participate in a few circle jerks and be a recipient of a warm messy bukkake. 

I want jizz.

STROKE 22

Friday, November 28, 2025

                              7:16 AM

Taken from THE MASTURBATION CHRONICLES

The t-shirt I ordered came in a few days ago.  It is a shirt I saw a well known Bator wearing on his site The Dude Next Door.  He wears it often as it is his bate shirt. It is well coated with his sperm.

It is so sexy how well used it is, it inspired me to get a shirt like it and start my own journey.

About 6:40AM

I woke up with a semi hard on.  I had my PJs on with my boxers underneath and a light sweater and a t shirt underneath that.  The winter air gives off a prominent sting in the morning.  I know for certain  that the room will be cold if I get out of bed so I lay in bed trying not to wake Boss.

I gently grab the bulge of my PJs. I could have easily just reach under both the Pjs and shorts and went straight for my dick but I'm not ready for that yet. I will start with a gentle tease.  I'm not in any hurry although Boss will be awake around 8:00am or so.

7:00am  

I officially get up and check my Amazon account.

My package has arrived.  Since it is so early in the morning, I assume that the package is lying outside my apartment door.

It is here.

Eager to see what it looks like I grab the package and open it up. I don't try it on until after I get out of the shower.  For some reason I prefer to be clean before I get sticky. 

This is my window to get totally in my Bator mood.

I love underwear and sexy outfits. I enjoy raiding my sexy outfit box when I have extended time.  Something I do during self pleasure time is photograph and sometimes video myself in sexy outfits.  During the pandemic, that is how Daddy Scruff was born.  Through sheer boredom, time to myself and a horny imagination.

7:15am

I dry off, dig into my box of goodies and find a pair of gray briefs to put on to go with the new shirt.

I am hard and wet. marking a significant wet mark in my briefs.

I change into different pair of shorts more in the style of sports wear.  I take a few pictures and get a few clips of me stroking in them but I don't cum.

This day is just warm up.

November 29, 2025

5:40pm

Boss is in the office working.  I just finished my paperwork for my hours.  I had some free time to christen my new shirt.

One load.

 6:17pm

I'm reloaded and ready for some more.

Load two.

OLD FRIEND NEW HAIR

Jan 12, 2026

Link: LOGAN ARROW

I stopped by  Logan's motel room Saturday. 

He is sporting a new hair color. He decided to go blonde. 

Believe it or not, it doesn't look bad on him.  It did take getting used to in the pictures he sent. Seeing it in person gave me a better perspective. 

I'm sure his whole visual presentation would have been much better had he not suffered from a hang over.  With the trash can on standby (he used it a few times I was there) we chatted a bit before I took off. 

He was not a happy camper. We agreed to try to meet  Sunday.  Sunday I had some things to take care of regarding my dad. So Monday was the only time we had.

Because I had to assist getting Boss prepared for work, there would be very little time to spend from the time he checked out of his motel to the time he got on the train. I had approximately twenty minutes to spend time with Logan from the time I saw him walking to the time I met him at the train station.

Though we did not have much time, we both had plenty to say.

The one message on Telegram that somewhat threw a punch to the gut was, "Probably tapping out on Sacramento. I need to find a new place to feel like somebody wants something to do with me."

A definite punch to the gut.

Not in a way that I felt offended, but the stark reality that Sac Town will always be Sac Town. 

I have mentioned numerous times how I just don't get much connection here.  

Though this used to be the place where Logan's hole used to suck them in like the black hole, (in his case pink hole) There is not much connection here.  This used to be fine for the Object Persona.  But with even the ho element being a bust, there is not much left.  

The sad reality is I am an unavailable support system.  Between loving and caring for my husband with his physical limitations, dealing with my dad's health issues, and a the narcissist's mental meltdowns, my availability is very limited.  

I am fully aware that twenty minutes bonding out of a three day weekend is insane and not substantial by any means.

I still don't want to let go. 

I know that there will come a time when the visits will become less and less. I also know that with Boss's unique needs, visiting a place that requires a five hour drive will be much more challenging hence the reason I haven't taken many trips to my dad's place in a few months.

I still don't buy that walking away or letting him walk away is the answer. That shit won't fly. 

We've been at this crossroad before and we will make it to the appropriate side.

A GENTLEMAN IS NOT ALWAYS SO GENTLE

                    A gentleman is not always so gentle

                       Sometimes all it takes is a little inspiration 

                                           To turn a pussycat

                                                 Into a beast

 

THIS MORNING

Not sure what the day will bring

But sure not to protest

Already swollen with anticipation 

It rises

throbbing for touch

Throbbing to be quenched

It stands the ineffable flame

Introduction to D

It seeks an R

Until I finds its way

To the letter P

Use what is given 

To read between 

The lines

MAPLE

Ooey gooey sticky and sweet 

Samara serves a delicious treat

Leaf opposite palm shaped fingers 

The scent it breeds 

Stems it lingers

Drip may it will to the floor 

A hunger and lust 

For some more

Maple maple can you see 

The taste you leave inside of me

The drip of your sticky treat 

Covers my biscuits 

Sweetens the meat

Maple so sticky

So tasty its true

Makes me devour

Every drop of you

Ooey gooey sticky and sweet 

Covers my biscuits 

Drenches my meat

PAGING DR. FISHNETS

February 4, 2025 Tuesday

It may seem hard to believe, but we started three years ago with me messaging Dr. Fishnets on Fetlife how much I love his sexual expression in his pictures. On and off, we would chat and try to get together. After a few failed attempts with schedules, life, blah blah blah, me leaving Fet for a while, we decided to try to make plans again. This time was a success. I would finally meet the man with so many unique fishnet stockings. When I got there, he opened the door. He was all ready with his fishnets and butt plug snuggly in place. It was such a pleasant sight to witness.

He is a good looking White guy, 53yr, shaved head and a white beard. He has an average build maybe 5’8 or 5’9. (Hopefully he will assist me with the correct height at some point.) He has some very unique tattoos one on his lower back and on the sides and on his left shoulder, I believe.

Like I said before, he opened the door in nothing but his black fishnets that reached up to his thighs and turquoise panties. When he turned around to guide me to his room, I noticed under his panties was something bulging out of his butthole. I know that shape very well. He had a butt plug of some sort inside of him.

                               

He Kindly offered me some snacks and a drink.

“Do you mind if I change real quick?” I asked.

I got out of my sweat pants into my black and blue mesh shorts with a matching blue jockstrap.

We introduced ourselves and talked a bit. 

It was not long before he was on the edge of the bed with a beanie over his eyes so that he could not see. I prompted him to lean against the bed slightly poking his butt out while he unknowingly prepared for a spanking.

BUBBLE BATH

Saturday, January 3, 2026

The anxiety and dread of dealing with the narcissist is starting to subside.  This person has not been on a rampage as of late.  They have been quite pleasant. However just like how I work on not allowing their rage affect me, I don't pay attention to their nice moments either. 

It is just like an addiction.  The love bombing to try to trick me into believing nothing is wrong, the hot and cold rollercoaster is all a plot to keep me in line, desperate to do whatever is necessary to keep this feel good moment alive for as long as possible.  But it won't last.  It is not designed to.  

I'm not going to lie.  It is difficult to resist getting sucked back into the hysteria taking that I literally have to talk to this person every day.  I’m quite aware that a lot of the communication isn't all that important.  I know some of this crap can wait.  But I am not even going to sweat it. 

I love my dad and I don't want to be one of those that eagerly waits for the demise of their loved ones to break free.  I'm going to enjoy him while he is here and I am going to handle this narcissist to the best of my ability.  But truth be told: Once he is gone, I’m done with this person.

I am not just protecting my peace.  I will fight you to the death over it.

On a lighter note, for the first time in a while I lathered up a bubble bath, soaked a bit and enjoyed a semi quiet moment to myself.  With boss in the office blaring his political talking heads, I had the bathroom door closed. (The second bathroom which is predominantly mine, is connected to the office. We chose to make what would be the master bedroom the office since we are in it so much.)

Knowing it would take him quite awhile to get ready for bed I snapped,"Have you brushed your teeth yet!"

He finally meanders out to start to get ready for bed.

Finally some peace and quiet.

The bath is warm and comfortable.  It is so rare that I take baths.  I prefer showers but the soak is exactly what my body needs right now. 

The soak and bubbles felt good and though I have a much easier time getting it up taking a shower, the quick rub out was quite relaxing. 

No matter how raunchy I get, I absolutely hate being sticky for a period of time, hence the satisfaction of seeing the ropes float into the mass of water as I release.

There was definitely nothing spectacular about this masturbatory moment.  Not the best orgasm by any means.  But it was well overdue and I slept great.