FRIDAY

March 28, 2026

               Friday 

             1:50 pm

Usually masturbation don't leave me sexually frustrated.  Many see it as a last resort to not getting any.   Not I.  I totally embrace self pleasure.  Not as something that I just have to settle for because another person isn't available, but as the main course that will bring me the ultimate satisfaction.  

Lately however, my attempts at self pleasure has been that of sheer frustration and annoyance.

Since my husband has been working from home, I haven't had the privacy to do the extra that I enjoy. 

Even when closing the door to the office room he works in provides very little privacy whenever he comes out for breaks.

My Bate times have been reduced to quick rub outs. 

My idea of turning the garage we rent into my bating headquarters  was thwarted when I almost got caught beating my meat by maintenance in the apartment complex. 

One of the staff noticed that the garage was open about one fifth of the way.  The maintenance person (which is a lady) used her opener to test if the door was working, raising the door up.  I quickly ran to stop it from going any further.

"It's me. I'm in here."

"Oh! She said. I'm so sorry," She laughed nervously.  

I don't know what she thought I was doing in there but the last few times I saw her and one of the male workers, they were giggle their asses off.  

"Yeah they know." 

Taking about major embarrassment. 

Kind of funny.  Kind of.  If it were someone else.

Hook ups, cruising, and kink sessions have been pretty much non existent as well since Boss's health change last year.

It is usually not a big deal if I'm not getting together with dudes.  But

not having an outlet to jerk it has been the breaking point in my patience.

Approximately 3:00pm

I'm in the telegram chat groups sending out bat signals.

"Anyone in Sac, I'm looking to fuck." 

I search Sniffies. 

Nothing. 

I put a message on the Sniffies board.

Nothing.

The last resort is the place with the fuck van.

Since I have been getting so-so results out of there lately, I figure, "Why not!"

I go in, pay for the king size room with the shower, strip, shower up, wrap the towel around me and get ready to head out on the floor.

Before I hit the floor where the van is, I migrate down the hallway to check out who's in the public showers.  There's no one for now. I turn around and walk down the hall.  As I get to the end where my room is, I look across the way and see a silhouette of a beefy guy.  The room is dark. I can only see the his silhouette.

I walk in slowly.  I can see him a little better. There is still a mystique to who this gentleman is.  

"Do you suck dick," he asks.

"Yes indeed!"

"Come in and turn the light up."

I turn the light up and adjust the lighting so that it is dim but light enough to see what he looks like.  

He is a good looking Thirty-Something maybe Samoan guy with broad shoulders, nice guns, a round but not overtly large belly.  He is thick in all the right places.  He has a pretty thick one between his legs.  He is sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs open.

There's a pillow on the ground. 

"Get that pillow and get on your knees," he commanded in a calm yet  authoritative manner.

Click here to continue.

NOT AS BAD AS EXPECTED

 Friday 27, 2026

The conversation with the narcissist went better than I expected.  Yeah I got the "You need to be more responsible with your father's affairs" talk.  

I didn't refute.  I simply acknowledged my mistake, explained why it happened and gave my plan on how to rectify the situation.  The situation was handled.  The person was happy, I can go on about my day, all is right for now.

I acknowledged my mistake. Made a plan to fix it and a whole nasty conversation was avoided.  

I know when I am wrong and don't have a problem admitting it.  I'm also learning that I don't need nor should I go any further than that.  The less I try to justify, defend and share my point of view the less ammunition it gives this person.  I don't try any more. I don't need to.  When I am wrong I will acknowledge it, fix it and move on.  

KEEP IT MOVING

 I am sure I'm going to hear a mouthful from the narcissist tomorrow.  I made a rather big mistake with my dad’s funds.  It is not so bad that it is beyond repair but it will entail me making some financial arrangements to get back on track.  

There is a part of me that feels like crawling under a rock.  Friday is going to be stressful enough as I am going to have to communicate my mistake to this person.  They actually wanted answers today but I just wasn't available nor emotionally ready to deal with this person.

Although I felt a little anxious today, I reminded myself that no matter what is said, we all make mistakes.

 I've made them.  The narcissist has made them.  Even beyond that, whatever this person has to say to me really doesn't matter anymore because I have officially checked out from this person.

The only reason we communicate is because of my dad.  So I'm going to get this conversation over and go on about my day.

As of now I am going to get in the shower, go to bed and wake up refreshed ready to take on whatever comes my way.

IT'S THE APPROACH

January 17, 2026

I recently received a message on Fet going into a BBC fantasy, and I'm not talking about the news. At best BBC makes me cringe when referring to me. I found myself so perturbed by the message. That is when I responded politely stating that BBC fantasy is not my thing (no pun intended, but I did just hear that) as well as some other things in our conversation and thanked him for understanding.

More times than not I would get a snarky remark or a block altogether.  What this gentleman did was something that shock me instantly.

He said, "Okay thank you."

What I learned from this is that people will often do or say something on these platforms that throws others off. But instead of flying off the handle or going on a moral preaching point, sometimes all that is needed is to calmly let a person know where you stand without feeling like you must "give them a piece of your mind."

In the same respect when addressing others in DMs we may first want to introduce ourselves and read the room before we decide to get explicit with our conversations.

I don't know if this gentleman still follows me, but if he does I would like to think we have a deeper respect for one another because of communication.

CREPES AND POTATOES

LINK: LOGAN ARROW

February 20, 2026

"Wake up sleepy head."

I wasn't quite sure if Logan was awake but I thought I would give it a shot.  Unsure we he would be headed for the train I messaged him as soon as I was done helping Boss with his morning routine.  The goal was to meet him at the hotel room but I was a little later than I expected.  He was already walking on G street toward the train station.

I saw him walking and picked him up.  He was due for I believe 12:53pm but 12:45pm was boarding.  

That gave us plenty enough time for brunch.  There's a restaurant that specializes in crepes.  I have been trying for months to take him there.  I never could get there on time taking that their hours closed by 3pm.  Finally this would be the opportunity for him to try it out. 

Plate cleaned.

I think he liked it. This is one of the rare moments when I introduce him to something new.  He usually has the one with all the dining smarts.  I'm glad he enjoyed it.  Hopefully I can visit him in Arcata some time.  The chances may be very slim with my responsibilities but I've learned to never say never.

LATE

LINK: LOGAN ARROW

 February 19, 2026

Usually when I'm late for anything, there is a good reason for it.  If I am not taking care of business for my dad, I'm helping Boss out with something.  

Today I messaged Logan letting him know I would be available around 1:30pm.  Yes I did my usual routine with Boss to make sure he was set for the day. Yes I took care of some business regarding my dad.  The time I took cutting my hair and shaving should have been last priority.

I like both looks.  I like the hairy bearded mountain man look.  After a while it gets old.  It is time to enjoy the semi clean shaven to clean shaven version of me. 

I don't like keeping the same look all the time.  It drives me crazy.  It is more than the "look." It is where my mind is. The journey I am on at the time.  I cannot tell you how many Black men and women with beautiful locs I have complimented and admired in just the last week. There's even a White guy at the grocery store with them. Not bad but definitely not as strategically sectioned and twisted.

Yes. I am pretty sure I will start that journey again. But for now I have to get all this shit off me!

It wouldn't have been so bad if I would have cut my hair earlier in the morning.  But as usual I have my routine with Boss.  It is already 1:15pm.  

"I am getting ready to cut my hair and shave. I will meet you around 2pm," I message him.

I finish up and know for certain I have to take a shower. Yesterday's funk is burning my nostril hairs.  This heat gives no leeway for going a day without washing these pits.  Let's not even get on the man bush and funky butt.  Yes it is close to 2pm already. 

Logan was with a friend that I really wanted to meet.  They waited.  I didn't get there until 2:30pm.

They had been in Old Sac since about 1:15pm.  I missed out on meeting his friend.  

Although Logan didn't make much of a deal out of it, I couldn't help but think he was disappointed.  I was disappointed in myself.  

He did seem a little less energetic as usual.  I couldn't help but to think that is my tardiness.  "I'm sure he is tired of me always pushing things back.  Usually my reasoning is valid.  But today it's because I wanted to cut my hair?

We did check out a new bowling alley/arcade close by.  They didn't have the much there that caught either of our attention.  But I do order a burger and fries that's to die for.  Delicious in every kind of way imaginable. 

We did chat for a while. I could have totally misread his body language.  Maybe he was genuinely tired from the night prior and just needed a nap.  Maybe he was a bit disappointed that I missed out on the opportunity to meet his friend.  And then it could have been a little of both.  I do know this 90 degree heat drains the hell out of me.  This is just March.  We haven't reached the triple digits yet.

I am not sure what tomorrow will bring. I do know he will be leaving.  Hopefully I can catch him just long enough to do something with him tomorrow.

TODAY’S PICK: HOUSEWARMING OR DEFILING THE BED

 LINKS: TODAY’S PICK

               LOGAN ARROW    

March 16, 2026

I finished up reading Logan’s latest post HOUSEWARMING OR DEFILING THE BED. It's not the first or the third Time I've read the entry. I just happened to enjoy that post very much. It's kind of like how I enjoy reruns.  I know what’s going to happen next. It doesn’t make it any less entertaining.

I know for certain it is a much lighter version of himself than the one that often carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

I think I like it also because it provides a small glimpse into the dynamic of his home life with his roommates.

Speaking of which, I got a preview video clip of what his room looks like.  Very roomy. It has been described in a few conversations at least how I interpret it as not... Hell, I don't know how to describe it. But seeing it with my own eyes, it feels like a room I would be proud to call home. Some people go for a bunch of furniture and tables, blah blah, blah. I am a man that enjoys minimalist  value.

I am sure we will have plenty to talk about as Mr. Arrow will be in the Sac O Tomatoes tomorrow.  I just know some uptight Sacramentan would be steaming if they heard that term. I said what I said.

As for the title Housewarming or Defiling the Bed.  Why not both?

TODAY’S PICK: THE DIRTY JOCK

 LINK: TODAY’S PICK

It started out as a journal of breaking in a fresh new jockstrap into a well used object of release. It would also showcase me in various styles of underwear as I explored my underwear fetish.

I’m back at it on THE DIRTY JOCK. Check it out throughout the day as I will be posting new material as well as some old favorites.

TODAY’S PICK: A PICTURE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 LINKS: TODAY'S PICK

               

Every so often I pick material to read from my blog.  I usually do this not only out of entertainment but as a proofreading.  There are typos now that I know are in a few entries that I haven't gotten to.  Of course I'd forget about them until the next time I read, but will eventually correct them.

Sometimes I read to see the progress I’ve made.

A PICTURE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS is an example of how much I have grown since then. It is also a mirror of what society looks like from the view of a gay Black man. A view that many whom aren’t Black don't want to see or talk about because it makes them feel uncomfortable. 

As I read through the story, I've made a few changes. Changes that may not be noticeable even if the reader has read it a few times.  All the same, I felt it important to make those changes.

“To think those few poses just added to that avalanche of White supremacy / Black inferiority that plagues social media and everyday life as we know it.”

Revised:

“It was, and is the thought that those few poses just added to that avalanche of White narcissism and the illusion of Black inferiority that plagues social media and everyday life as we know it.”

“And whenever I am asked to portray myself in a light contrary to what I stand for as a proud Black man and I actually do it, I have added to this avalanche of White supremacy.”

Revised:

And whenever I am asked to portray myself in a light contrary to what I stand for as a proud Black man and I actually give into it, I have added to this avalanche of White narcissism and illusion of Black inferiority.

I made the change after watching a clip online declaring that we got it all wrong about White supremacy.

There is no such thing as white supremacy. Instead, White narcissism is much more appropriate. This is in no way an echo chamber or a mirror of what I’ve heard someone else say.

I have questioned why we call it White supremacy for decades. Especially when there is nothing supreme about these people.

I have resolved in calling it like it is opposed to making it sound pretty. 

White narcissisim is an ugly word. It is uncomfortable. But I'm not here to make you feel good.  I’m here to tell the truth.

In the same manner, I've changed Black

inferiority to the illusion of Black inferiority because I am well familiar with the gas lighting and agenda to make us feel like we are inferior. 

We are of Kings and Queens hence our own regal acknowledgment "King" when we greet each other.  

I'm not saying I'm better.  I'm saying, "Recognize." 

AURALISM: SPANKING DR. FISHNETS

 LINKS: AURALISM

               DR. FISHNETS

I gently run my hand down the back of Dr. Fishnets . Down I go caressing his spine lower and lower. I finally reach the area of his turquoise panties and rub his buttocks. I am greeted by the bulge of the butt plug in his butthole.

Smack

I give him a spank on his bottom.

"Yes Sir," he replies.

Smack 

I spank him gently.

Smack smack 

I pick up the intensity. 

Smack smack smack

Each smack gets a little harder each time.

As his bottom warms up, he begins to moan.

"Good boy."

"That tush is tuning pink," I continue.

He giggles,"Yeah?"

"I love a pink tushy"I respond.

I pull his panties down around his thighs and turn him toward to camera to display a round beautiful booty with rosy pink cheeks and a light blue butt plug showing off for the camera.

I begin to pull it half way out and push it back in. I repeat these motions fucking his hole with his butt plug.

AURALISM : FINGERING SCOOBY

 LINKS: AURALISM

               PUP SCOOBY

      September 23, 2023

                        Saturday 

I totally forgot about finger-banging PUP SCOOBY'S pussy. It wasn’t until recently when Scoob reach out to me to get some of the videos from that session that I found the clip.

Switching out the motel lighting for my red party bulbs, I painted the motel room red, giving the seedy kinky atmosphere that I like.

There he lay on the bed, legs opened wide in his red lace garter lingerie.  I got on the bed.  Collected as much saliva from my mouth and spit on his hole. With my gloved hands I would begin my probing while listening to him moan.

"Open that pussy up for Daddy."

Scoob is one of the few that don't mind me calling it his pussy.  

For this session his pussy welcomes my fingers. Especially with my leather gloves probing his hot spots.

MARK’S DNA INSIDE OF ME (PART 4)

        Links: THE INITIATION

                   THE MAKING OF DADDY SCRUFF

                  ORAL TRAINING

                  SIR

The year was 2002. It was my introduction into BDSM. And How I discovered the Dom in me. Day 4 of about a week of learning about being a sub for SIR. Also my breaking point.

By day four I was a mess,  I wasn't getting the sleep that I needed to be effective on my job.  I would bring this to his attention and insist that he lets me go earlier. 

 "Get over here or I will find another sub who will," he would snarl.

"What’s it going to be," he asked impatiently and almost sarcastically as if he was so sure I was going to drop everything to receive his dick.

Of course I wanted to please him. 
I wanted to make him feel as good as I possibly could.  

However, It would be nice to be able to get a good night's rest one night. 

1:00am 

 My jaw was killing me for being open for such a long time.  He used my mouth, and he used it good.  He decided to take my asshole and fuck me until I couldn't bear it.

 The way he ripped into me was so intense that it had me yelling almost a horrible cry but it wasn’t a cry of protest or major pain but a cry of, "Thank you!"

"Yes!" I would cry grabbing the sheets. 

Facing the mattress I would grab the sheets as I would watch in that small strip of mirror each time he plowed into me. It was always or at least mostly always me restrained, face down with him fucking me from behind. It was rarely face to face if ever.

After he was done he sent me home.  It was about 2:45am

Day 5

SIR called me over. At this point I felt that my role of ever being a top was being stripped away.  I had

Click here to continue reading 

AURALISM: THE NO TELL MOTEL

 NOVEMBER 2, 2024

Link: AURALISM

It was a few days before waking up to a national nightmare.

Unsure of what the fate of our “great nation” would be, I decided to turn off all news and political commentary. I have done my civic duty. The rest was up to everyone else. Besides. I had other issues to focus on. 

It was another one of those trips to Dad’s place in Southern Cali. I can not remember why I chose to get a hotel room instead of staying at his place. I believe I had enough of The Narcissist's bullshit and opted for peace over sheer fuckery.

Even though it was early, I was tired from a long day.  I was ready for bed or at least to lay down for a bit.

There are some sounds that are so unforgettably familiar, especially when you can clearly hear the couple going at it in the hotel room next door. I now know exactly how Lincoln Duncan felt in that famous Paul Simon song.

As a matter of fact I laughed at the scenario. Poor guy just trying to get some rest and he has to put up with this couple banging each other’s brains out all night.

The horror!

Fuck it!

These morherfuckers gave me lemons. I'm going to squeeze and get some lemonade out of this bitch!

I put my ear to the wall. I listened to hear her moaning faintly. 

I then I put a glass to the wall. It was little better. But nothing like when I walked out of my room down to the the next room’s door. Not only could I  hear her moans (from down the hall from my door) but the intensity of their flesh clapping was quite impressive. Not only the speed which in itself superhuman sounding, but the duration this dude keep this tempo going.

One word.  

Impressive.

THE WALK

 LINK: THE INITIATION

Summer 1997


1997. This is before I had anal sex with any man.

Although my first official encounter with a man  was back in 92, when the guy known as MY FIRST showed me, how to suck dick. 
This period was way before my sexual development. 

1993 is the year that I went to church with a friend of mine, became interested in learning more about God, life and myself.  I began Bible studies and became an official member of the church, leading me on a spiritual journey. 

I don't really talk about my spiritual walk or my time in the church on this blog for the simple fact that I hold that journey to be a sacred one. Even though there were some challenging times during this period (1993 - 2001) and I don't practice my faith like when I was in the fellowship, that chapter is still a very sacred part of me.  Therefore, that is a place I rarely go on this blog. 

I bring this rare occasion up, because it ties in to the story at hand. 

It was 1997.

It was a summer day.  I was 26 years old.  The weather was warm but not overbearing; a perfect time of the day to go for a walk. 

It is not uncommon for me to go out, walk and catch some nice warm sun, especially taking that I used to live less than 10 minutes away from the river access. 


Although at the time I didn't have a car, the river access was no more than a 10 minute walk from the house I was living in.

There is a trail that I would walk with friends of mine from the church.  We spent a lot of time on those trails talking, praying, even hashing out our disagreements together. It was a trail that 
I've walked many times with my fellow brothers, as well as many times I've walked alone. 

One afternoon, I was making my way through the trail.  I walked down a path going towards the river. 
As I found myself walking through the shrubs, I saw a person about 20 feet away from me. I paid this person no attention at first because I just saw him as just another person walking through the shrubbery getting to the river access. As I continued, I noticed him staring at me. 
I looked back, smiled and said hi as I went on about my business.

 I noticed as I was walking sounds of footsteps behind me. They were not majorly close, but close enough to hear the bustling of the bushes.  I turned around it was the gentleman.  Although I knew it wasn't uncommon for people to reach for a similar destination by the river, there were the concerns for my safety taking that I was in a place that makes it hard to see if something were to happen.  

Without making my behavior too conspicuous, I picked up the pace and turned left.  He turned right into a cul de sac of bushes.

I turned around  slightly relieved that he wasn't following me. I saw him more and more into the distance as I migrated away from him.

He was still staring at me.

I found that quite strange behavior.  My emotions transitioned from being nervous about my safety to an actual curiosity as it appeared as though he was

signaling me to come over.  The gesture wasn't obvious but just enough.  My curiosity was sparked.

I started walking back to where he was.  As the vision became clearer, I saw him standing there with his penis out.  It was very hard.  He was holding it. He wasn't stroking it, much. (very slowly) but he was holding it while looking at me.  I was totally shocked.  I was thinking to myself, "What the heck is going on?"

 I have never seen anything like this in public in my life.  I was stuck between confused, somewhat disturbed, and even turned on.  I found myself more disturbed and confused than anything.  I walked away, to turn back towards the main road. I actually decided to walk back.  He was still there with this penis out, looking at me.  I stayed there for about probably 60 seconds to a minute and a half just watching him as he looked at me. I then turned around and I left that place as fast as I could. 


There was so much that was going through my head: 

"Why in the hell would he do something like that? Why was he looking at me?"

 
And then there was the disgust that someone would actually do something like that in public. There was also the disgust that I actually liked what I saw.  I was captivated, and it did disgust me.  It disgusted me because I was on my walk.  Not just any casual kind of walk by the river, but I was on another walk. 


I was on a journey.  It had been very difficult,  but also a rewarding journey.   A spiritual walk. 

Yeah, I was a church boy.   But I was more than just a church boy.  I was truly on a mission to be the best me I could be.  Sometimes what my flesh wanted went against what the doctrine taught me, and it did cause battles.  It did leave scars. Even 30 years later.  That is perfectly alright because I'm much more mature now. But I still have such a long way to go. 

I understand the importance of knowing what my own personal walk looks like. 

At the time, it was a challenge trying to understand the difference between my spiritual walk and my sexual journey and understanding that often the two would clash.  Even today I cannot say the two are reconciled.  But I do know that even though I find great pleasure in writing about my sexcapades, I love photographing artistic male nudes, I love BDSM and Kink, It does not feed my soul.  If I'm being really honest it is nothing more than a pleasurable distraction. The real peace is listening to that still small voice that is most powerful than anything I can think of.  

For me it is a matter of learning balance.

I believe the days of being the good church boy are over.  But I also know I'm not trying to be a heathen neither.

Time reveals.

WHEN THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED

This remains and shall 

Between our lips and ears

For no one else to comprehend 

There are times when the hunter 

Becomes the hunted

Then it is his turn to wait

But doesn't the hunter always wait?

Is he not used to lying

On the prowl?

Often the hunter 

Instructs the hunted to wait 

For instruction 

For the waiting game 

Is inextricable to all

Once captured 

The hunter protest not

He waits 

And waits some more

For he knows 

The impetuous 

Is devoured

By his own consequence

The hunter delights 

In the captivity

For it is in his wisdom 

True power exchange

Is the joy knowing

You are worthy 

Of being hunted

SWALLOW

 

                                               S W A L L O W   F U C K I N G  P I G !

LEATHER GLOVES

 I found the question “Why are you wearing leather gloves,” a strange question to ask a guy in a leather bar.  It was like I had made the ultimate fashion faux pas.

“I’ve always liked leather gloves.  It is a fetish of mine,” I replied.  

It wouldn’t be the first or the last time I would get asked that question.

Over time my response would be, “Let me show you.”

That reply would always put a curious smile on their faces.

Leather gloves need no explanation.

But for the sake of entertainment, here are a few examples of what I use my leather gloves for.

Number one reason: They look good. Leather gloves bring out the definite virile appearance when matched with the right attire.  Leather gloves put the Leather in Leatherman.

The tactile sensation drives a bottom crazy.  Caressing, rubbing, stroking and touch altogether is a whole different level with leather gloves on.

Bending a boi on his knee or laying him ass up while turning his butt cheeks red gives more mileage for both him and I to work with.  When spanking, I know what the sting feels like with a bare hand and gloved.  Being gloved adds that barrier that gives me the ability to spank a little longer than when I am bare.  Remember the bottom is not the only one feeling that sting.

Oral training.

There is nothing like opening a sub’s mouth and reaching down his throat.  The spit, the struggle, the desire to please.  The ability to make a man gag and push his boundaries right off the shelf is remarkable.

Getting him on his back, opening his legs and violating his hole with my fingers, all honorable mentions.

Also if the sub won’t shut up just shove them in his mouth.  You now have a perfect gag.

There are more uses, but for now I will leave it at that.  For now, I am going to get in the shower play with it a while and go back to bed.

NO UNDIES

 February 7, 2026

I just discovered that one of the maintenance  men, a thirty-something Latino with dark brown skin, short wavy black hair, and a sexy Spanish accent, wears no underwear.

Currently running around the apartment trying to see what else I can get him over to fix.

WAY TOO EARLY

 February 19, 2026

             Thursday

                4:41am 

 I woke up and went directly to an online account.  I Totally got distracted by hard aggressive porn that caught my attention at first glance but saw no real chemistry in the actors. Well of course that leads to scrolling through another video and another until I was deep into three hours of meaningless porn mixed in with doomscrolling, chaos, violence and gossip.  

I just was wanted to retrieve a message from my inbox.  I now understand why I have stayed away from the noise for so long. I also see how I easily get sucked back into it.  

It is too early to take in this psychological disturbance. 

HERE’S TO WHAT 2026 HAS TO BRING

February 16, 2026,

Monday 6:27 PM

 The last time I had sex with another man was on January 17, 2026, one day shy of a month. The guy now known as Buddy Holly is the guy I bred.  Since then, there hasn’t been anyone else to my recalling.  I have been pretty horny since then.  I have gone out to my usual cruising spots, looking to blow or get blown. The pickings, however, have been pretty slim. There aren’t many guys out cruising during the winter months.

Cruising here is pretty much a dying activity.  A part of me is rather indifferent towards it. Another part of me reminisces in my younger days when I was a young walking hormone ready to pounce on any breathing male on my radar as prey.  Back then it was primal, a little dangerous, scary yet fun. 

Often times those spots would be packed with bodies doing goodness knows what to each other.  Even though the sex was totally anonymous there was an energy that was felt. 

Now days there is a sparse interval of guys that just stand around doing nothing.  The ones that suck dick don’t usually know how to suck.  The ones that are looking for head spends so much of their time disengaged on their phones that sucking is pointless. 

In other words, I can take it or leave it.  That is until that throbbing happens between my legs that sends me out like a cock fiend looking for his next dick fix.

Although I have had occasional cravings to go on the hunt, I've been more engaged in staying at home and masturbating.  I’m finding more private spots and moments while Boss is busy with his work.  I’m still pretty much available if he needs me.  However, I’m also learning the best times and places to have some alone time.  

I recently posted on Fetlife an audio clip of me playing with my sex toy.  I mentioned that the hole feels almost as good as the real thing. 

I received a reply, “There is no substitute for the real thing.” 

For me, whenever I am stroking, fucking a flesh jack, or using any other device, I’m not trying to substitute it as anything.  I’m simply finding different ways to enjoy self pleasure.  I don’t need another man to make me feel good.  As a matter of fact there are many times when I would choose solo over hooking up with someone.  For now, my focus is on journaling and sharing my experiences.

About a year ago I had about 108 drafts on my hard drive from my old blog that I planned to post.  I’m actually caught up with all of them.  There are a few exceptions as some of those previous posts are no longer relevant.  From here out, all of my posts are live.  No more posts from the old blog.  However because I most likely won’t be as active sexually, I’m sure I will be sharing more stories from my past.

Here’s to what 2026 will bring as far as my blog entries. 

ATTENTION SPAN

My attention span has been crappy lately.  It has been weeks since I've read up on my fellow blogger's posts. It has even been somewhat challenging staying focused enough to stay still to write my own posts.

I have been posting a lot of content on my Fetlife profile however.  It is much easier to share my content when others engage with me. Yeah it is easy to get hooked on the endorphin rush of receiving a shit load of likes and views.  After all that is how they get us right?

Beyond that, I just enjoy the conversations I have with different guys. I actually use it more for a social media outlet than actually hooking up, not that I would turn down the opportunity when they come up.

Although I find Fet way more engaging than all the other social media sites, I realize that nothing helps my healing process more than blogging.  Even as I type this now the words are just coming to me.

As I continue to express myself through writing, my thinking is becoming clearer and clearer. 

There are some sites I just need to do away with once and for all.

 For instance.

 What used to be know as the 24th letter of the alphabet is now cognitive dissonance. The switch from angry slutty gay porn to political doom scrolling is not healthy in the least. Unfortunately The Sky app is not much better. All the minions just followed the half sane over there.

So for now I am sticking with Fet and here.

But I am really working on getting back to writing more and catching up on my reading.

SENIOR DISCOUNTS

 February 13, 2026

                    Friday

Today is not my Official Birthday.  But it is somewhere in this range. Possibly. 😏

55
It’s official.

I’m getting my senior discounts. Starting today. 🤭

As I hop from one restaurant to the next taking advantage of my 55+ senior discount, I’m actually grateful that I can make light of my aging process. I know too many people that dread the turning of a new age.  Not to say I didn't have my little crisis when my hair started turning gray in my forties.  I boo-hooed! lol true story.

But I am grateful for the ability to enjoy life as it is. May others find the joy and pleasure where they are in their chapters. 

By the way.  Today I'm going to be exclusively in my own little perverted element.
(not much different from any other day.)😏

P.S. I owe Logan an apology.  I really haven't been ignoring you.  I have been having the weirdest attention span as of late. Hell. It took a great deal of energy just to write this up.  I will get to your stories soon. I really have to reprogram my brain and step the fuck away from toxic media.

HALF TIME

I believe the push for Bad Bunny not to make any political statements backfired ROYALLY. 

There were so many statements and so much symbolism that resonated louder than his initial “Ice out” cry at the Grammys. 

This was more than a party or celebration display. 

That man told a story with each visual.

Honestly, I'm not a big follower of his music and I did not comprehend one word (at least not with my ears.) But I understood exactly what he set out to communicate.

I may not create a specific playlist in his name.  I may still be on the fence about whether I’m keen to most of his music but I definitely see him in a much more positive light as an artist and a human being.

By the way, for the longest time I was thrown off by him.  He seemed so aloof and stoic in every photo and every interview I've seen.

I just recently noticed that he appears to struggle with the right words to say in English.  It was when I saw a few interviews of him speaking his language that he was animated and alive.  He actually would smile and laugh even.

I say to PR: Get that man a translator and just let him do his thing.

ONCE THE WALL TUMBLES

Not much experience under one’s belt 

But know exactly what you want

I saw the tumescence 

Thump In your pants

Unsure if to make the first move 

You waited

May I 

I asked 

I caught every word 

How it was expressed

I chuckled silently 

During the power struggle 

In your head

Unwilling to back down 

Unwilling to let go

Eager to show 

At the end of the day 

You call the shots

I needed not to contend 

I had you at first contact

Whether you gave them 

Or I took them 

They are mine now

The underwear 

That once graced 

Your hairy thighs

Now belong to me 

To do as I wish 

With them

And just like those underwear 

Once the wall tumbles

Those hairy thighs 

Those hairy thighs 

Those hairy thighs 

Will be mine

I won’t hold my breath