DISCOVERING MY IDENTITY AS A TOP WAS LEARNING FROM THE BOTTOM

LINK: THE INITIATION

I must say my most adventurous times sexually was in my thirties.

It was a time when I came out to family and also a time when I  discovered

the nightlife of the gay world.

In that discovery came tales of hook-ups with various guys of all ages, backgrounds and races.

Some were good.  Some were not so good.  But all of them were experiences that helped formulate the ideas and attitudes I have today.  

Let's start with how I discovered my identity as a Top.

I was 30 years old.  I had no car at the time.  My main transportation was the bus.  

I just got off the bus going home from work when I decided to stop by a nearby park restroom to take a piss.  At this time I had no idea about cruising.

Though I would see nasty invitations on bathroom walls with phone numbers and I often visited these bathrooms; curious to what I may find, the term and the practice was foreign.  

 I was at this urinal and there was this good looking red head dude using the one down from me.  As usual, I would try to keep my eyes straight ahead while occasionally taking a glance to see what I could get from the other guy's dick without being obvious.  

I would sneak my eyes to the left to try to get a view.  While turning my head, he turned his head and looked straight at me.  

"Oh Shit!" I thought to myself.

 

"I got so busted !"

He then took about five steps back while pissing, aiming for the urinal target.  I turned and looked.  Never have I seen anyone do that before.  Nor have I ever been so turned on by a guy taking a piss before.  I found myself getting semi hard.  I quickly put it back in my pants and headed toward the exit when I heard, " Hey!" 

I turned and looked.  The guy was standing there with his dick out.  By this time he stopped pissing and was facing me.

He was still dripping small drops of piss as he looked at me with a horned up smirk on his face.  I stood there mesmerized while taking the sight in.

He was about 5' 10" my height with red hair and fair skin, short crew cut, clean shaven.  His crotch had a deep red tone to it.  It was kind of darker than on his head.  His dick was getting plenty hard.  It was thick with a pink tip.

"Wassup!" He said.  

I didn't respond I was too shocked and in a state of lust to move my lips.  

"Wussup!" he repeated.

"Can you talk?" he joked with a smile.

 "Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare.  I was just.... uhh, using the bathroom."

"I see.  Looks like you are ready for more than just taking a piss," he said pointing to the bulge growing in my pants.

By this time his thick red meat was standing completely at attention.  He motioned his finger for me to come closer with a friendly inviting smile.  I accepted the invitation.  

We both stood there for about two minutes not saying anything:

Him, with a mischievous smile on his face, and me with a look of both astonishment and horror. 

"Well?"

 "Well?" I echoed.

 "You wanna touch it?"

Almost instantly I grabbed his pink tool and started stroking it. I stroked him for about 3 minutes which felt like 3 hours.  He looked at me and I looked at him.

"Wanna taste it?"

I just stood there in astonishment.

"Its o.k."

He pushed down on my shoulders gesturing me to kneel.  I lowered to my knees and looked up at him as he gently placed his cock in my mouth.  As soon as I tasted him, I let out a moan as if I had tasted the finest dessert ever.  His dick was thick and stuffed my mouth pretty good.  There was no way I would be able to go all the way down on it, but I had a great time trying. 

With spit and drool running down my chin, I gobbled up as much as I could.  After a few minutes my jaw began to hurt and I pulled away.  As I did so, I quickly came to the realization where I was; A dirty bathroom that was public at that.  I told him I had to go.

"Wait! I gotta place!"

"I got no car," I responded.

"I'll give you a ride and take you were you need to be."

We got to his place.  Its was not a bad little apartment.  Clean and neat, but It didn't matter what it looked like. I wanted to get back to that dick.

We made our way toward his room. He told me to make myself comfortable while he used the restroom.  As I looked around I saw a closet door semi opened. In the front was leather chaps and a leather vest hanging up.  At this point I had no idea about leather as play, I just knew seeing him in it would be hot as hell.

 He came back. 

"So what do you get into," he asked.

"Umm, I dunno."

"I knew this was your first time," he said grinning.

He continued, "Don't worry you'll have a great time.  So I guess asking if you are a top or bottom is mute."

"Top or bottom?"

He laughed.

"Top means you like to fuck.  Bottom means you like to get fucked.  The way you were sucking on my dick I will say bottom.  But that's for you to decide." 

"Before we do anything I need to tell you that I’m HIV positive.  I’m healthy.  I take my meds but I share

Click here to continue reading.

⬇️

that with everyone I’m with and I understand whatever reservations you may have," he mentioned. 

This was 2001.  I was pretty educated on protective actions and transmission reduction.  However I’ve always been an overly cautious person with sexual health in general.  I realized early on to do what I felt was safer in practice for myself but yet still be able to have a good time.

We stripped down and I went down on him again.  After a few minutes he returned the favor.  It felt amazing.  He took my cock out his mouth, turned me around, pushed me on the bed face down and started chowing down on my asshole.  I moaned in ecstasy while his tongue went in and out and all around my butt.

"You’re gonna know what its like to be a bottom," he told me.

"I don't know if its gonna work. I've had three different guys try but I couldn't get loose or relaxed enough."

"So this isn't your first time," he said with a grin.

 He continued.

"So did you fuck them if them?"

"No. We just sucked each other."

"Don't worry.  You just need a good teacher.

Now relax.  Breath.  I'm not going in.  I'm just going to play with your hole a little."

"You can't even get a......"

"SHHH!  Just relax.” He interrupted.

He began to give me a gentle and erotic massage.  I was definitely on cloud nine.  He caressed up and down my thighs, going higher as he reached my butt.  He opened my cheeks and gently played with my hole still coaching me to relax. Taking some lube he rubbed and poked until he had his index finger all the way in.

He continued to rub my ass while he worked on a second finger.

“I got two fingers in.”

“NO!” I said astonished.

“Yes! They’re in.  How do you feel?”

“Great!”

Doing the same thing he coaxed another finger in, and then another until he had four fingers in my butt hole. 

I was in disbelief when he told me.  There was no way that could be true; not as tight my hole is.

Thinking back to that day: looking into his closet he had a black leather vest and the chaps hanging with a red stripe on the side of the legs. Knowing now what I know about the color code; he was most likely into fisting.  And the fact that he could comfortably get me open to four fingers in my butthole is that sure indication in my opinion.

However I tensed up as he grabbed the lube, condom and climbed on top of me. 

"Relax! Breathe! You're doing fine."

I started breathing heavy.

"You got it!  Just follow my instructions.  As I go in you push out."

"What do you mean?"

"Push out like you’re taking a dump."

He must have noticed the mortified look on my face which prompted him to say, "Don’t worry.  Not what you think is going to happen.  It will feel like it at first.  Just trust me.  You'll be fine."

After a few minutes of coaching he was all the way in.  It was painful, but it was the most pleasurable pain I ever felt.

After about five minutes of slow pumps he began to pump me faster and deeper.  Never have I experienced such intensity in my life. 

I thought to myself, "How hot it felt to have a naked guy on top of me humping my butt as if I was being fuck.  But now I really am!"

It was great.

I could feel him thrusting in and out of me. It felt like my insides were expanding each time he dug into my walls.  He began to really pound me causing me to grab the sheets and let out these high pitched yelps.

"Are you okay?" He asked, noticing my distressed facial expression. 

This line between agony and ecstasy is definitely a tricky one.  But that fucking ecstasy made sure that I was not just going to endure the ride but I was loving it.

After about 15 minutes of stretching my hole, he pulled out and said, " Now we're gonna let you know what its like to be a top ."

He smiled at me and gave me a wink.

He was so patient with me.  Not only was he patient with me as a bottom but he was equally patient with me as a top to the point of showing me how to properly put on the condom.

I wanted to show him as much pleasure as he showed me.  I told him to turn around and lay face down.  Never have I eaten anyone's ass before, but the sight of his pink hole surrounded by his ginger butt hair got me more than horned up.

I buried my tongue down deep in his ass and he began to moan.

"Yeah Man!"

"FUCK!"

I assumed he was loving it according to his dirty talk.  The more he moaned the hornier I got.  I couldn't wait any more ! 

"I have to have that hole! And I need it now!"

"Take it!"

I mimicked everything he did to me.  I waited for him to to get comfortable and slowly stroked in and out until he said, "Take it !"

I pumped his hole nice and hard.  

I checked in to see how he was.

"Yeah Baby! Take that ass! It's yours."

I fucked him doggie, on his back. We spooned; every position you could imagine. 

"Oh yeah! Oh FUCK!"

He knew I was going to cum.  The closer I got to climax, the more wild I became.  I wanted to pull his hair like I've seen in the porn movies, but it was too short.  So I did the next best thing.  I buried his face in the bed as I pounded his ass until I exploded in the condom.  

As I pulled out, I noticed that the rubber wasn't on.  I looked around then finally opened his cheeks.  It got stuck in his hole.  I carefully grabbed as much of the end as I could.  I pulled it out and we both laughed uncontrollably.  That night I fucked him three times; Once in his room, another in the shower  and once in his living room. 

All the time I was enjoying being his bottom, I didn't realize he was grooming me to be his Top.  And I must say, I'm not too upset about that.