SOUTHERN CALI

Feb 11, 2025

Tuesday  6:23am

It’s 6:23am twenty three minutes after I heard my father rumbling around in the laundry room to get clothes out to start his day.  He is fixated on going places that he doesn’t need to go.  He is constantly wobbling around the house without his walker putting him at risk of falling. No matter how much he is told to use his walker it doesn’t register with him. 

My sister recently had a lock put on the laundry room door so that he couldn’t get in there and possibly get hurt. It is literally like dealing with a child. 

I know this. 

I’ve worked as a caregiver for quite some time.  It is however a totally different dynamic when it is a family member that one is taking care of. 

I have seen client’s family members where they are the only ones there to care for the loved on.  I do not wish that on my worst enemy. 

For my sister she has me to assist with his business and financial affairs.  But living over four hundred miles apart, there is very little relief I can provide.  So far from January this year to this week of feb 10th I have driven approximate five trips down. The time before last, one week and having to return the following week.  The drive is becoming a lot. And air travel is expensive. It will be close to a month before the VA will get a caregiver in and even when they do, the max is 9 hours a week. Well, I guess it is better than nothing but…

It is not all gloom.  My father looks better than he ever looked in any facility. He is gaining strength in his legs and walking more. He just needs to do so with his damn walker.  This is a short trip. I’ll be home. And though I’m glad for the opportunity to spend time with Dad, I am ready to go home. 

I’m a little late on this one as a lot has been going on. Things have calmed down considerably since this. There is still a lot that leaves me floored.  For example, how my sister still calls me telling me how many times she’s told him not to put his dirty briefs in the kitchen garbage or how she constantly tell him to get cleaned up and dressed for physical therapy like he really has the capacity to say, “Okay!” and actually get up and do it. It is like two people living in their own reality. 

It is better but it sometimes gets worse. But for now it is better. It is better because I'm learning how to deal with a whole lot of things I used to put my head in the sand to. Now dealing is no longer an option. It is definitely a sharpening instrument for me. Like it or not.

DRAINING

 Narcissistic people are so fucking draining.

TODAY'S PICK: STROKE 12

My time stroking with the hot Latino Guy. Check out STROKE 12

PROSPECTS

LINK: POTENTIAL SUB

March 12, 2025

I hate to get ahead of myself and yell out possible play mates because it always seems to fall through. I have two potential subs interested in playing.  Both are from Recon.

I'm always intrigued when a sub reads and shares their delight in certain blog entries and how it resonates with them.

Both subs have shared how they enjoyed my blog.

It is not a prerequisite.  But knowing that someone has taken the time to read my blog lets me know that they actually read my profile.  

One thing I mention on my profile is, "To get to know me better, visit my blog."

That lets me know that they are at least somewhat interested in who I am and what I am about.  

I am not going to get too ahead of myself.  We'll see what happens.  Either way I look forward to the continuation of our vetting process however it turns out.

So I have two potential subs, and I have the potential to be a sub. 

If this actually takes place this will be the first time in over fifteen years that I have fully submitted to another man. 

Here is the kicker.  I actually reached out to him! There are some profiles that really hits home with me from certain Doms.  

As one may know about me, I have no big hang ups with giving it up to someone I feel I can trust.  Yes tapping into being in a vulnerable space will be very different for me, but a good Dom will know how to get me through those rough patches of resistance. And in doing so it won't be about power struggle or surrendering.  With this guy it just seems more organic.  But with all of this we will see.

I am eager to see where these three journeys will take me and where I will go with them.

TRIMMED THE RESULT

 Well, I tried to find a before and after but no such luck. Actually looking at it, it may not seem as though I trimmed much. But there is definitely a difference. I will , most likely be trimming again soon. We’ll see.

By the way this is by special request from an Anonymous reader. Not sure if it makes it look huge but I do like that the trim makes it more visible. 

TRIMMED

I have been trimming lately.  

Most of my life has been full bush with an occasional period of trimming or shaving altogether.  I never found totally bald very attractive but occasionally I have enjoyed the process of it.  When I'm on my knees I love the sight of a hairy bush as well as rubbing my face in it and taking in the masculine scent of a man with a nice bush.

For myself, it is more of a situation of waking up with more sweat in my crotch area than I am comfortable with. 

I sleep in either PJs or sweats and my underwear.  It's fucking cold at night! But at some point I get so hot I am sweating and it is mostly between my legs.  Free balling or sleeping nude is so not my thing. 

Trimming seems to be helping with the perspiration.  I'm thinking about switching out my briefs for boxers at night as well.  

There is another reason I have been turned on to trimming. 

For some reason I get extremely horny when I trim. looking down at my crotch and feeling the razor buzz on my balls and down the sides right between where the balls end and the shaft begins.  Those are my magic spots. 

It has been a long time since I've masturbated more than once in a week. But seeing my new cut and feeling the buzz on me has sparked more activity lately.

So I guess for now trimming is my new thing.

OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND

 February 25, 2025

It has been awhile since I checked in with my friend Logan.  I decided, before I sent him a message via Telegram, I would catch up on a few of his blog entries.

It has been a challenging  few months for him since he decided to pack up his stuff and pretty much go wherever.  As usual he would write about various restaurants and the foods he enjoyed or not enjoy.  He would write about his days going various places.  Most of all, because his blog is more of a sex blog, he would write about his latest sexcapades and encounters with various men.  As a matter of fact that is how we actually met.  

It is very rare to make friends from hook ups.  But actually mostly all of my gay male friends have been from some type of sexual experience or event.  Either I've met them through a phone chat line, (For those old enough to remember, you know what's up) online hook up, or sexually themed parties / events.

He wrote in his entry about some of his woes of his stint in Sacramento.  He chatted about one guy he felt might have been a connection but Logan came to the conclusion that the guy had his fun with him and was done. The old case of Hit It and Quit It.

He mention that he doesn't bother to send me messages. 

"That means Sacramento is more or less done, though I will miss the fuck van..."

The fuck van is an old funky looking van placed in the center of the dark room area of Sacramento's spot for gay men. 

I couldn't help but feel hurt by this one particular post.

Why?

I believe because we spent time together, hung out, went to the museum, he introduced me to different restaurants that as a native I didn't even know existed.  

I left a reply, "The hardest part reading is when you said that you don’t bother to message me.

I know things have been crazy with my availability over the last few months but that was disappointing to hear.

How the whole few phases felt to me:

I don't message Mark. I'm done with that chapter but I will miss that fuck van.

Wow."

He did reply and mentioned that he's come to terms that he probably will never see me again.

"...I'm doing that with a lot of things lately."

Again.

"A lot of things."

There is so much more to write about on this subject.

I am not here to make him a villain . He is a very sweet man. And I am sure he has responded and we just need to work it out. It does hurt a bit when you think a friendship would be a little worth fight to keep it going no matter how far or or how often we chat with each other.

I am in no way talking about a romantic relationship. I'm just talking about a friend whether it is with "benefits" or not.