February 25, 2025
It has been awhile since I checked in with my friend Logan. I decided, before I sent him a message via Telegram, I would catch up on a few of his blog entries.
It has been a challenging few months for him since he decided to pack up his stuff and pretty much go wherever. As usual he would write about various restaurants and the foods he enjoyed or not enjoy. He would write about his days going various places. Most of all, because his blog is more of a sex blog, he would write about his latest sexcapades and encounters with various men. As a matter of fact that is how we actually met.
It is very rare to make friends from hook ups. But actually mostly all of my gay male friends have been from some type of sexual experience or event. Either I've met them through a phone chat line, (For those old enough to remember, you know what's up) online hook up, or sexually themed parties / events.
He wrote in his entry about some of his woes of his stint in Sacramento. He chatted about one guy he felt might have been a connection but Logan came to the conclusion that the guy had his fun with him and was done. The old case of Hit It and Quit It.
He mention that he doesn't bother to send me messages.
"That means Sacramento is more or less done, though I will miss the fuck van..."
The fuck van is an old funky looking van placed in the center of the dark room area of Sacramento's spot for gay men.
I couldn't help but feel hurt by this one particular post.
Why?
I believe because we spent time together, hung out, went to the museum, he introduced me to different restaurants that as a native I didn't even know existed.
I left a reply, "The hardest part reading is when you said that you don’t bother to message me.
I know things have been crazy with my availability over the last few months but that was disappointing to hear.
How the whole few phases felt to me:
I don't message Mark. I'm done with that chapter but I will miss that fuck van.
Wow."
He did reply and mentioned that he's come to terms that he probably will never see me again.
"...I'm doing that with a lot of things lately."
Again.
"A lot of things."
There is so much more to write about on this subject.
I am not here to make him a villain . He is a very sweet man. And I am sure he has responded and we just need to work it out. It does hurt a bit when you think a friendship would be a little worth fight to keep it going no matter how far or or how often we chat with each other.
I am in no way talking about a romantic relationship. I'm just talking about a friend whether it is with "benefits" or not.
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