THE FIRST AND ONLY TRAIN RAN ON ME

Link: HAIRY CHESTED DADDY

Sometime between 2004 and 2005

I was asked about my hottest fantasy.  

About twenty years ago I often wondered what it would be like to have a train ran on me; so my buddy HAIRY CHESTED DADDY invited four of his friends over to the hotel I was staying at.  All five took turns on me. As hot as it seemed (in my head) The real life experience wasn't as pleasant.

Boundaries were not respected when my friend briefly left. It doesn't take long for me to feel slightly claustrophobic so I brought it up. They continued. 

I was going to write a detailed post about this experience but I feel like we have enough tone deafness when it comes to rape culture and what is "hot." My goal is not to write a "hot" account of what happened but to document that a breach in taking my boundaries seriously occurred. 

Even though it was not a great experience for me, it is still a hot fantasy (having a group of guys fuck me, Just not the ignoring my boundaries.)

What made me decide not to go into detail:

I am usually detail oriented when it comes to documenting my encounters but when I was explaining to a guy that I was playing with the encounter he said,"You know, that story about a bunch of guys? You know that's like everybody's fantasy to be held down like that."

When I told him that it was not fun, he asked me, "Were the guys hot or not?"

I felt my blood boil. It took every ounce of strength not to yell at this guy. But I kept calm and shared my perspective. 

"So what were they doing?"

I proceeded. I could tell he was getting off on what I was telling him. After discovering he was getting his jollies off what I was telling him, I switched up the conversation but it left me so angry.

I will never understand why some guys can't decipher between consensual non consent and assault.  In my case it wasn't even CNC. It was a total disregard for my boundaries.

Earlier, I went into him faster than he could handle.

He quickly flinched in pain requesting for me to halt and pull out a bit to give his hole time to get used to the intruder.  

As a top with common respect for one's boundary and comfort  I pulled out as requested and waited for his signal to proceed.  

I would wonder how he would feel if I ignored his request and went even harder; and then snickered about it like it was actually funny. 

The tone deafness of some men are so annoying it is almost surreal.  

Yes.

By CONSENT I have dabbled in CNC. 

But that is a far cry from actually ignoring one's distress. 

Even though this experience was not a great one for me, it still is a hot fantasy.  I am sure with the RIGHT people I would have been able to trust, it could have been explosive.  

My backdoor has closed years ago.  I do occasionally practice to get it open a bit.  Hell, I would settle for being able to take just one dick if possible!

But who knows? Maybe someone will have the key to reopen that door wide and let all his buddies in.

Only time will tell.