Links: THE INITIATION
The year was 2002. It was my introduction into BDSM. And How I discovered the Dom in me. Day 4 of about a week of learning about being a sub for SIR. Also my breaking point.
By day four I was a mess, I wasn't getting the sleep that I needed to be effective on my job. I would bring this to his attention and insist that he lets me go earlier.
"Get over here or I will find another sub who will," he would snarl.
"What’s it going to be," he asked impatiently and almost sarcastically as if he was so sure I was going to drop everything to receive his dick.
Of course I wanted to please him.
I wanted to make him feel as good as I possibly could.
However, It would be nice to be able to get a good night's rest one night.
1:00am
My jaw was killing me for being open for such a long time. He used my mouth, and he used it good. He decided to take my asshole and fuck me until I couldn't bear it.
The way he ripped into me was so intense that it had me yelling almost a horrible cry but it wasn’t a cry of protest or major pain but a cry of, "Thank you!"
"Yes!" I would cry grabbing the sheets.
Facing the mattress I would grab the sheets as I would watch in that small strip of mirror each time he plowed into me. It was always or at least mostly always me restrained, face down with him fucking me from behind. It was rarely face to face if ever.
After he was done he sent me home. It was about 2:45am
Day 5
SIR called me over. At this point I felt that my role of ever being a top was being stripped away. I had
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to share with him that I felt like I needed to exercise being vers again.
"I'm gonna bring one of my boys over so you can have at him."
1:00am
He called one of his boys to come over.
He stripped down. For some reason I was not feeling him. He was a good looking guy.
I believe he might have been Polynesian. He had really bushy hair, it was kind of like an Afro but it went all the way down to the middle of his back.
He was not a bad looking guy, but for some reason I just wasn't turned on by him.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm just not feeling it."
The fact that I was being picked who I would fuck was rather repulsive to me. The guy was actually cute. It was just not how I operated.
He sent the guy home and then he fucked me.
I got home around 2:45am.
Day 6
More oral training. This time he got me home by midnight.
Day 7
It was a Wednesday sometime around 11:00am I was at work.
Most of my career has been working either as a caregiver to some degree or a service coordinator. This one job had me working hybrid in the field with clients and at the desk doing paper work and answering phones.
I received a call on my personal cell phone. I answered it.
"Hello." I answered.
"Come over tonight."
"What time?"
"2:00am," SIR replied.
"That's a little too late for me," I replied.
"I want you here by 2:00am," he snapped.
"I'm sorry. I have to work the next day."
"And?" He replied in a snarky tone.
"Oh no he just did not!" I thought to myself.
"I'm at work I will have to talk to you in a little while."
We hung up.
"Do you believe this guy?" I frustratedly said out loud.
It then hit me.
He was absolutely serious. From day one he let me know that it is either his way or the highway. He didn't care about my lack of sleep. He didn't care about my decline in my work performance because at the end of the day it was all about pleasing him. My pleasure and my needs didn't mean anything because it was not ever about me. It was about "Getting on his dick." And anyone that didn't fall in line was as disposable as garbage to a trash can.
I didn't call him back. He did call me, however before my break.
"Well?"
"I'm not coming over tonight."
"Excuse me? You're not what," he snapped.
"I am not coming over tonight." I said much clearer to ensure he heard every syllable.
"If you don't come by tonight don't even think about calling this number again."
"Okay. Good bye."
"Don't you know I have a dozen of boys who would jump at the opportunity to get on my dick!" He declared.
"Then get one of your boys then."
Click
I hung up and went on about my day.
It was that turning point in which I realized the dick is not that serious.
So you got good dick. Bitch, so do I.
It is also the turning point that sparked me to discover how I would do things if I were the one in charge. And so began one of my many journeys.
The journey to Daddyland.
I wondered how this intense scenario with this man was finally going to end. And I must say you handled it perfectly. You were inexperienced at the time and simply didn't know how to handle it which is totally relatable. it's these life experiences that can mold and shape us profoundly. I believe it did in your case. Sending you on your own path to Daddyland but in your case tempered with the understanding of how not to be as he taught you oh so well.
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