LINKS: THE INITIATION
The year 2002
About 2:45am
As I moved my head forward to receive SIR's cock, he grabbed the back of my head and slowly pushed his hips forward, filling my mouth with his dick. His cock reached the back of my throat causing me to gag.
He didn't do it forcefully but it was still a lot for me to take especially not being used to oral as much.
"Suck it." He said with authority.
I began to grab his waist. I held on to his waist, going down to his hips until I got to his butt cheeks and squeezed a bit pushing his pelvis into my face. For the first time I was getting used to blowing him. I was finally making love to his hips and buttocks as I guided them back and forth pushing his cock in and out of my mouth.
He allowed this for only a few seconds.
"Hands behind your back. And keep them there," he ordered.
He began pumping my face slowly and deep. I attempted not to fight it but my gag reflex was not as open as it is now. After a few minutes, my throat finally started loosening up to the intruder.
As I got more into it, I made the mistake of going under his shirt to feel his chest. What a great feeling to feel his chiseled slightly furry chest.
But it wouldn't last for long.
He bent down and pinched my nipples as hard as he could.
"Did I say you could fucking touch me!"he snarled.
"No SIR!" I yelled in pain.
"Are you going to do that again?"
"No SIR!"
"Where are your hands supposed to be!"
"Behind my back," I wailed.
"Behind your back, what!" He yelled.
"Behind my back SIR!"
A few minutes later
He was still inside me but my jaw was getting sore.
"Umm, umm," I mumbled.
Umm, Umm," I mumbled louder.
"You had enough?"
"Umm Hmm," I slurred as I nodded my head,"Yes."
"Good boy," he replied.
He took his cock out.
I saw his cock swinging in the air with my spit oozing down the shaft to his balls. It was a
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beautiful sight to see. It was perhaps the first time I noticed how sexy of a sight it really is to see a man rock hard with spit drenching it, standing in all his virility.
I couldn't help but kneel there mesmerized by his masculine beauty. It was almost surreal.
"Get on my dick!"
"Again! Really?!!!" I thought.
In a second, the daze of admiration was overridden by the dread of having to endure another long round of face fucking. Though he did look quite delicious in that moment, I didn't know how much more my jaw could take.
I felt the slobber wet my chin and chest. I felt a mess.
He pulled me off his dick. I was able to breathe a moment.
He stood there in front of me for about two minutes although it felt like an eternity. For two minutes we didn't say a word until all of a sudden:
"Get on my dick."
"Fuck!" I thought to myself. I rolled my eyes in the back of my head from the boredom. I'm sure if he saw the attitude I was giving off he would have punished the hell out of me, whatever that would have been.
I really was getting sick and tired of sucking this guy's dick.
He then did something that pushed me even further. He held my head down for at least 20 seconds not allowing me to come up. I began to panic. I began tapping his torso begging for release. He finally let me up.
"SIR," I whimpered totally worn out.
"Yes."
"My jaw really hurts SIR. Can we do something else?"
"What would you like to do?"
I hesitated for a moment.
"Fuck?" I asked timidly.
"Can you say that a little louder?"
"I'd like to fuck!"
"So you want me to fuck you?"
I thought I was being slick by just answering,"Fuck."
He made sure that I knew that if fucking was on the table, it would be him that would fuck me.
I didn't protest.
"Yes SIR." I replied.
"Scooch over to the couch and bend over the seat."
I stood up and began to walk. Right then and there he smacked my ass very hard.
"Did I say walk to the couch?"
"No SIR!"
"I said scooch!"He commanded.
"On your knees and go!"
I got on my hands and knees and crawled to the couch. Never have I felt so humiliated. But I did as I was told.
Have you heard of "BDSM?"
"Um, no SIR."
"Have you heard of S&M?"
"Yes SIR."
He asked, "What do you know about it?"
"It's like Leather whips and chains."
He let out a big laugh.
"Well though that can be part of it, there is much more to it than that."
He explained to me about the power dynamic between him and me, impact play, rewards and discipline, and most important (at least to him) I was there only for his pleasure. It was not about what I wanted but what he wanted and when he called me to come over I better be on my way no matter what time of day or night.
He walked into his bedroom. When he came back, he had something in his hand. It looked like a bandanna and a black bag. He asked me how I felt about being blind folded and light bondage. I told him I never experienced it so I didn't know. He asked if I would be open to experimenting with it. I agreed.
"Close your eyes."
He placed the bandanna over my eyes so that I could not see. It then sounded as though he was reaching into the bag. There was some jingling sounds. I was very curious to know what he was doing.
He then got hold of my arms and put what felt like a leather wristband on each one. He then locked them together so that I was unable to get out of the position my arms were in.
I then heard his footsteps leave the room.
I waited.
A few minutes went by. I was getting a bit nervous. Still more time went by.
"Fuck!" Maybe this is the time when he really does whack me over the head with something!" I thought to myself.
"Hello," I called out.
After no response I attempted to wiggle my wrists out with no luck. I began to panic and frantically wiggled to get out of this position. A hand is placed on my shoulder. I jump from being startled.
"Relax," He guided me.
We did some breathing techniques to help calm me down. He then sat on the couch and prompted me so that I was on my knees between his legs. He then pulled me into his chest and bent down to give my ass a tap. He began tapping making each round
harder.
"Each spank I want you to count off. You count off 'One SIR,' 'Two SIR,' and so on until we are finished with your spanking. Understood?"
"Yes SIR."
He spanked me a bunch of times, each time being harder than the last. I do not remember the count. I just remember wanting to be done with it so badly. I remember he practiced various tactile and impact things on me that I literally felt like yelling "Stop!"
I was at my breaking point when I asked to switch things up. Again he asked me what I wanted to do. again I answered with, "Fuck me."
"Please fuck me?"I literally begged with tears welding. Not one tear dropped. I would not allow him to see me desperate. But he already knew I was desperate because I was begging for him to do something that would take away the pain of impact play.
"Please SIR, fuck me. I will make you feel good. Please SIR, I said with urgency."
I have never ever begged to be fucked before. I've never begged to fuck someone before. Hell I never begged for anything that I recall. I just don't do it. I will ask eagerly. I will state my case as to why I should be the candidate for something. But beg?
Not saying that is below me because it is not. It is just that something has to be majorly urgent to get to the point of begging. If I am begging I am in an emotional crisis to be in that state.
At the time I didn't see it but looking back now, I see that he broke me. He broke the hell out of me. And he took great delight in that. I don't believe in a malicious way. But it did feed his ego greatly, especially knowing my stance on being a top. Even though I was a versatile top, the fact that he turned me out gave him much delight. It made his dick hard as a brick.
"So, you want me to fuck you do you?"
"Yes SIR. Please fuck me!"
Up until this time he was fully clothed, pants just below his butt, with his wet dick out. He pulled his pants all the way off giving him more freedom to move the way he wanted to.
He whispered in my ear,"You want me to fuck you?"
"Yes SIR."
"Get on my dick."
I almost wanted to cry.
"Why is he doing this to me! It seems like everything I ask for he does the total opposite!" I thought to myself.
"That's it! Everything I would ask for, he would do the opposite because this is not for my pleasure." I thought to myself.
To test this theory after what felt like an hour of being face fucked, I asked him to spank me.
He took off the bandanna, uncuffed me, and walked me into his bedroom. He took off my underwear. and he stripped butt naked. This is the first and only time I saw SIR totally naked. I felt weak how fucking privileged I felt to see all of his manhood before me.
"Get on the bed and lay on your belly."
I lay there taking in the dark and sexy atmosphere. I felt so elated, almost like an out of body experience.
"Spread your legs."
I spread my legs on my belly waiting for him to take me.
He got on top of me and reached for a condom, and lube. Then he opened the dresser drawer by the bed.
Oh my fucking goodness! The entire drawer was filled with restraints of all kinds along with handcuffs. It felt like that scene in fifty shades of grey where the girl opens the door and sees all that kinky gear and she's like,"Oh shit!"
That was my experience seeing a whole drawer dedicated to restraints. But somehow it gave me a feeling like I found my home. It is was still overwhelming to experience nevertheless.
He had these straps on the four corners of the bed. he put some fresh restraints on my wrist and on my ankles and attached them to the straps so that I was spread out with no where to go.
He bent down and ate my hole. He got it wet and slippery. There was a long but thin mirror that went across the front of the headboard that gave me a great view of what it looked like with my ass in the air getting my booty eaten. I couldn't take my eyes off of the sight. When he was done, he lubed up his dick and lubed up my hole.
He warned,"Once I go inside you, there is no turning back. I won't stop until I'm good and ready. Once I take your hole, you will officially be my boy. And that hole no longer is your hole. It will belong to me."
"Yes SIR."
He lubed up his dick and lubed up my hole. Slowly he pushed through my anal walls. I grabbed the sheet as best as I could, bracing myself for the anal pounding.
"Open up Mark."
"Yes SIR."
He laid on top of me with me pinned to the mattress as he thrusted his hips up and down. I began to make more verbal noises as he picked up the pace. There was no other position he had me than strapped to the bed. Although my hands and ankles were restrained, he was still able to slightly lift my hips up. He would occasionally switch from this position to fucking me prone.
I was helpless. All I could do is lay there and watch in the mirror as I witnessed his hips pump up and down. I saw my face. I saw every facial expression on my face and marveled at me getting pounded by this hot man.
He fucked me. And he fucked me some more.
"Fuck! Oh fuck!"I cried out.
The sound of his flesh slapping into mine were buried over the howling high pitched yelps coming from me.
Every pound sealed my fate of being his boy. I became more and more his boy and less and less the man I used to know.
I never confessed this part before because it is a vulnerability that even I have a hard time exposing.
As he was fucking me I watched the tears run down my face. I don't think he saw them. He was too busy taking what was his. But I had them.
I don't quite know why there were tears. Yes, I was wailing like a bitch. But I don't think the tears was from the pain. I believe it was partly because of the pain, another part was from the realization I was now his boy. Another part felt like every pump of his flesh into my asshole was taking away my position as a top. I even felt in a large degree that my manhood was being taken from me. And yet I was loving every inch of being ravished the way he did me.
I had been fucked times before and never did I feel emasculated or like a piece of my identity was being taken away. But somehow this was different. Somehow the demands laid down put me in the most vulnerable state I have been in and yet I still came back for more.
About 4:30 in the morning
It was late or actually early in the morning and I had to be at work later in the day. I got my clothes on and stumbled out of his house bow legged from being fucked out of my gourd. I went home and thought about the crazy night and what the new journey was going to mean for me in the future.
Such a powerful experience and one, I suspect, that taught you so much and even shaped who you are today. I wondered if you ever went back to him? An experience like this makes you question everything you thought you knew about sex. That intense overpowering mind fuck that takes sex to a level you never knew existed.
ReplyDeleteYes I did go back to him. The next evening. He called and I went. He called the night after that, the night after that and the following night. night. He was insatiable which means I had to be on his dick no second guesses just do what he expected of me. It was a mixture of anticipation to see what he had in store next but it was grueling. It was hard on me but I was his boy. I did as I was told. I was turned out. He mind fucked me good. I belonged to him until it was time to get un-mind fucked . It was a relationship that lasted about a week (7 days straight being called on his dick) before his demands got too demanding and I snapped out of it. And yes this man did shape who I am today in many ways. He brought me into BDSM. But I realized that I was always kinky. I just never real activated it or knew what kind of things I liked because I didn't have a template so to speak. But yeah, even as a kid I remember my dad had this old 70s album by the Ohio Players called Pain. The cover had a picture of a bald headed woman in a leather spiked bikini standing powerfully over a man in a leather thong with spikes, bent over backwards . I remember being so mesmerized with the picture and the song for that matter. There have been hints when I was growing into puberty that I never really thought about like how some of my wet dreams were of an assertive type of sex.
ReplyDeleteIn many ways our stories are somewhat similar. In my younger days I had no idea what to expect from sex. I thought I knew what it should be like, but the reality never seemed to match up with what I found. I've always been a very passionate person and when it comes to sex I don't hold back. But it seemed for years so many of the men I found were unresponsive or just there to quickly get off and have it over with. Maybe it was the men I was choosing. In hindsight it's difficult to say. My expectations were so high, and I often was left with an empty feeling afterwards. There had to be something more. Then one day I met someone, and the chemistry was there. We each saw something in the other and it was electric. We had a marathon 3-hour sex session. The passion was off the chart. We kissed until my lips were sore. There was a physicality that was so intense. We literally devoured each other and couldn't stop. it was tender, it was rough, everything I had always imagined that perfect sexual encounter to be. This experience taught me so much and the realization that I didn't have to settle anymore. In the years that followed I discovered the power of role play and more of a BDSM lifestyle I could be that dominant one in total control or the submissive power bottom.
DeleteSex can be so powerful when the stars align, and you find that person that matches your passion. It just saddens me in a way that it took so many years to finally realize how good it can really be.
I don’t know if your expectations were high as much as the men you were meeting were just basic. Below basic at that. I really had to search that out myself and discovered a lot of these dudes just don’t have a clue about intimacy, being creative, fucking with more than the objective to cum. What I’m discovering is that the status quo is pretty bland. But just because the average gay man has this low bar, does mean that your expectations are high or you are more demanding etc. it just mean that we are living in a sub par world and we need to call these dudes out on it. When Boss recently stayed overnight in the hospital, he told me that the nurses that did his personal care was no where near as thorough as at home. These are nurses! It goes beyond relationships, beyond healthcare, the world has not been raised or trained how to do even the average. So I’m not surprised to hear your frustration. But there are some out there. And if you have to, you can always train those who are willing to learn how to step up their game. And listen. I am so glad that you realize that sex, connection and kink can be amazing with that right element when you did opposed to never learned at all. Yes you would have, should have, could have. But now you know! That is what counts!
DeleteGet yours!